Life Lately | Part I

A lot has been going on around our house and I wanted to wait until I had some answers before I shared anything.

Sounds ominous, yes?  Good news: It's not.

Today I'll start with Baby A, Jude the Dude.  When he's not provoked, Jude is as laidback as they come.  He happily plays with friends or by himself, loves to give hugs and kisses, and always, always wants to know where his twin sister is.  He is a free spirit, full of energy, and would rather jump off your table than sit in a chair.

I can't continue this tale without also mentioning his sister.  Sloane is charming, deliberate, and so very sneaky.  More than all of this, she is a people-pleaser.  If I tell the kids it's time to pick up their toys, she's the first to oblige.  If I ask a question, she answers.  If I need something, she's on it.  This is wonderful - I have my own personal assistant - except when it comes to Jude's communication.  When I ask Jude a question, she answers it; when I ask Jude to bring me a book, she grabs one.  At this age, it is such a delicate balance of asking her to hold back while telling him to move forward.  One of my daily mantras is "Do not break their spirit."  Do not force Jude to sit still if what he needs more than anything is to move.  Do not tell Sloane to quit helping when her daily desire is to do just that.  It's tricky and what it's led to is a sweet sister who communicates for her brother.

Jude has always been a bit delayed with speech.  If you've read my blog at all you already know this.  I took him to Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) at 18 months and he passed.  I was shocked.  Since then he's continued to learn new words, speak in phrases, and has a clear understanding of what we say to him.  But even though you're told never to compare, I couldn't help but notice his sister having full blown conversations with me while he sat back.  He is strong enough he can help himself to most anything and his needs are few.  I decided it was time to have him tested once more at ECI and we had his evaluation a few weeks ago.

It was almost three hours of testing in a tiny room.  They covered everything from communication to motor skills.  Jude was on his WORST behavior that day.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't embarrassed.  I watched him throw toys, hide under chairs, and completely shut down.  I realized for the first time that I have never made him continue an activity if he doesn't want to do it.  With two kids, you just try to get through the day in one piece and sometimes that means you fix things that would be helpful lessons if left broken.  I watched my happy-go-lucky son refuse to point to his feet because he was so frustrated.  It was hard to watch - I just wanted to grab him and run.

Once they scored the test, I learned he passed everything but receptive communication.  Example: "Jude, point to your feet."  The therapist told me Jude would've passed but each time he was frustrated and refused to cooperate, they had to give him a 0.  Jude knows his body parts but wouldn't point to anything.  0.  He knows that milk goes in a cup, but wouldn't point to the cup.  0.  The therapist was sympathetic and said she truly believed he could do these things but without seeing it, they couldn't assume.  And so she left it up to me.  Did I want Jude to have a speech therapist until he turned three?

It took me less than two seconds to say YES.  I looked at my frustrated son and realized we both need help with his communication.  Just as much as he needs to learn how to better communicate, I need to learn how to help him.  A speech therapist will come to our house once a week for an hour.  She will sit right next to him, teaching him new things, and I will be on his other side, taking as many mental notes as I can to make sure I can help him the other six days.

Today was his first appointment.  Lauren is his therapist and they really hit it off.  She made him laugh, which made her laugh (this child's laugh is second to none).  They worked together on a letter game and while he was reluctant at first, he listened.  And then he smiled.  And then he participated.

He will receive help over the next three months and then he'll be evaluated again to see if he needs to continue speech therapy once he turns three.

I don't think any parent wants to hear their child needs therapy.  At the same time, every parent wants the absolute best for their child.  I'm proud of him every day but today was exceptional.  Twins get so little one-on-one time and Lauren did such a good job of making today FUN. I got to see my son be the center of attention when he has allowed Sloane to carry that title for 2.5 years.

My prayer over the next three months is that Jude will not only gain words but also confidence.  I have so much confidence in him and now it's his turn to realize it for himself.

Favorite Things

It's been a long time since I've done one of these, so I thought it'd be fun to include my summer essentials!  Here are some of my very favorite things right now....

1. J. Crew 3" Chino Shorts (Currently 30% off)
I've been living in these shorts all summer.   Perfect cut, perfect length (they also make 4" if you prefer a little longer!), and look great with a tank or a chambray button-up with the sleeves rolled up.  Cannot get enough of them.

2.  Toms Youth Classics
That's right, I said YOUTH!  When Michael and I visited Rosemary Beach, I saw these cute shoes... and then realized I was in the kids section.  The salesperson told me as long as my feet were 8.5 or smaller, a youth size should fit.  Sure enough, I tried on a pair and they fit perfectly.  Bonus: They cost $20 less than adult sizes.  What makes it even better? ("Meredith, how is that even possible?")  They make the same design for toddlers so Sloane and I could match!! Haven't bought them for her yet but I plan to do so when Michael isn't looking.  ;)  (FYI - I normally wear a 7.5 and these are a youth size 4.5.)

3. Urban Decay Naked Basics Eyeshadow Palette
My friends and I had a Christmas Favorites Exchange and Ashley brought this for the group.  I was a little hesitant at first (the colors are, well... a little naked looking), but I absolutely love it.  Goes on nicely and stays on all day.  I use the four colors on the left and leave the two on the right alone. :)

4. Saving Grace Hair Powder - Blonde
I was recently introduced to this and wish I would've found it 2.5 years ago!  It's a natural mineral powder that works to absorb oil and cover roots.  So far (knock on wood), I don't have any grey hairs yet, but now that I'm blonde again I do have roots.  This powder is also perfect for those of us who like to wash our hair twice a week.  :)  I use the mini kabuki brush to apply -  the whole process is so easy and works so well!

5. About Time
If we've talked in the last week, I've told you to watch this movie.  It's incredible.  Sweet, funny, and the message sticks with you.  I haven't cried that hard in months.  And it's the best kind of cry - all of the good emotions.  Rent it.  Buy it.  Watch it with the lights off so no one has to see your ugly cry face when the credits roll.

6.  Nanette Lepore Maharaja Goddess Swimsuit
Carrying 14 lbs of babies did a number on the ol' stomach (and I would do it again in a heartbeat - we all know this).  Thanks to a lovely umbilical hernia, I tend to veer toward one pieces these days.  However!  When they look like this, I don't mind it so much because I don't feel like Frumps McGee.  Thanks to Lord & Taylor and several discounts, I got this suit for almost half of its original price.  Woohoo!

Your turn - what are your favorite things right now?

My Tiny Dancer

Today was Sloane's very first dance class.  It's a summer class (six weeks) for 2.5 - 3-year-olds and I signed up as soon as my friend Ann Marie told me about it.  I honestly don't know why I was so excited to sign her up for a dance class - I took one year of ballet/tap when I was seven and didn't love it.  Maybe it's because her legs are almost as long as mine and she enjoys the spotlight so much - I just knew she'd be a perfect fit.

Well.  We showed up early and she gleefully danced around the room as other families arrived.  When it was time for the class to begin, she eagerly took her place on one of the circles and I went to the waiting room (we were in a temporary space as they're putting final touches on the new studio).  I put my bag down and reached for my camera.  As I looked up, I saw a horrified Sloane.  Her face was so sad and her little lip stuck out as far as it would go.  I smiled and waved as she looked at me with desperate eyes.

I wish I could say this stopped after a few minutes, but the first half of the class was pretty similar.  The teacher learned her name rather quickly and was so kind to Sloane.  Thankfully, things turned around about halfway in and she really started to enjoy herself.  

She got to twirl, practice walking on her toes, pretend to be different zoo animals, ribbon dance (that seemed to be her favorite), and play with new friends.  By the end of class, she was all smiles.  She hugged her friends and her teacher and couldn't stop talking about it on the drive home.  Next week she taps!

This is the first thing we've done that is for Sloane only.  Even though I'm not right next to her in the class, it's neat to have a little mother/daughter bonding time.  Meanwhile, Jude will be spending that hour with Michael each week so they'll have some father/son bonding time as well.  

Here are way too many pictures of our tiny dancer.  So proud of her for being brave and sticking with it (when it was quite obvious she wanted to quit)!!

Rocksbox!!

Before Jude & Sloane's arrival, I had subscriptions to several fashion magazines, scoured Pinterest for cute outfits, and used my spending money on... me.  Now?  Now I see a magazine and tear out a page for Jude to draw on, use Pinterest to pin the latest Twin Talk articles, and spend my monthly allowance on the kids.  It doesn't mean I don't care about fashion, I just don't have the time to run by the mall during my lunch hour or leisurely walk around my favorite store.  

And then I discovered Rocksbox.  (Stay with me...)

The idea is genius.  My friends and I even discussed how sad we were that we didn't come up with it ourselves.  

Rocksbox sends designer jewelry to your front door!  For $19 a month you receive three pieces of jewelry at a time.  You get to wear them as often as you'd like and then send them back (free shipping both ways) for three new pieces.  If you love one of the pieces, keep it for a discounted price!

See what I mean?  Brilliant.  It's perfect for moms like me who love great, trendy jewelry at a very affordable price.  It's also fun because it allows me to take an outfit I've had for years and give it an entirely different look! 

Just to give you an idea... In my first shipment I received a bracelet, necklace, and stud earrings.  The necklace and earrings were perfect for a date night with Michael.  The bracelet I wear every time I leave the house.  Target, CVS, you name it.  I'm pretty sure that bracelet is staying with me.  

Wanderlust + Co  XL Screw-Split Gold Bangle

Perry Street Taylor Necklace

Sophie Harper Pavé Circle Studs

More good news... with the code mrandmrshaynesxoxo you get one month of Rocksbox FREE. Free.  I really want you to give a shot and I promise you won't be disappointed.  It was so fun getting something in the mail that was specifically for me.  To look at these fun pieces and realize that just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I have to give up what I loved before.  

The code doesn't expire so if you decide not to try it today, you can use it anytime!  If you DO try Rocksbox, please let me know because I want to see what pieces you receive!!

Jude & Sloane | 2.5 Years

2.5 is incredible.  It's terrifying and exhausting and amazing and surprising.  A lot has happened the last few months and I hope I can recall even a tiny bit of it.  Michael and I stand in awe at these little people who have huge personalities and their very own, very different opinions.

If you're around Jude & Sloane for five minutes, it's pretty clear how different they are.  Jude is very friendly but a little reserved.  Sloane is in your face and desires (and usually gets) the attention of everyone in the room.  They are proof you can raise two children the exact same way and they are still complete opposites.  God created their unique personalities long before I was their mom, and I'm just here to make sure each personality has a chance to shine.

So let's do that, shall we?

Jude Sullivan
Jude continues to be all boy.  He cannot keep his hands to himself - he must touch, push, carry, or pull everything in site.  If the object is immobile, he will jump off of it, crawl under it, or flip over it.  He has zero fear and terrifies me at least 15 times a day.  Fortunately, he is strong and not clumsy, so he almost always lands on his feet and rarely gets hurt.

When he is not wreaking havoc, he is sitting in your lap with his arms and legs wrapped tightly around you, kissing your face constantly.  He loves to cuddle ("cuckle") and murmurs, "Love you, mama" with his face buried in my neck.

Jude is the most polite 2.5-year-old I know.  He says "Thank you," "No thank you," "You're welcome," and "Excuse me" (when he burps).  What makes this so bizarre is he's still behind in speech but his manners are impeccable.

Jude can count to 10, knows all of his colors and shapes (struggles saying triangle and rectangle but recognizes them), and several letters.  I have never really pushed any of this on them but am trying to be a little more intentional with "learning time" each day.  I am a HUGE believer in letting them be little, but I also don't want them to be behind (whatever that means) due to too much time playing with their toys.

Speaking of, he loves the choo choo, blocks, babies (real ones - not dolls), and books.  He still loves to crawl in our laps with a book and knows the last word of every page of every book we own.  Though he doesn't talk nearly as much as his sister, I know he's got a lot going on in that sweet head of his.

Jude does not love to listen.  He has zero ability to multi-task so if he's busy doing something, getting his attention can be quite difficult.  And if it's something he doesn't want to do, he will throw quite the tantrum.

Some of his favorite things to do are play/pester his sister (he absolutely adores her and asks "Where's Schloane?" the second she leaves the room), eat green peppers & blueberries, watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, do absolutely anything outside, and sing/dance.

He's about 34 lbs, 37.5" tall, wears a size 8.5 shoe and 3T clothes.  He has definitely slimmed down but is still a big boy.  We attempted potty training last week and he picked it up quickly but never tells us when he needs to go.  As long as we're constantly taking him he's great, but it's pretty exhausting staying on top of it.  We're not quite sure if we'll continue with the training or switch him back to diapers for a bit.

Sloane Elisabeth
Just typing her name makes me smile - Sloane is such a hoot.  She is still such a charismatic little girl and is always in search of something fun to do.  She is outgoing and energetic - I pray she uses these traits in the best possible way.

Sloane wants to be a part of the action and will do whatever it takes to keep up.  She has full blown conversations with me, even if they're still half words/half jabber.  I think she just wants to sound like her mama, who can talk for days.  She's expressive and uses big hand gestures to convey her thoughts.

She has become very independent and likes to do things for herself.  She puts on her own shoes and hair bows.  We potty trained her in one (ONE!) day and a week later she doesn't even tell us when she needs to go.  She quietly excuses herself, walks to the bathroom to do her business, and then walks out with a big smile on her face.  She's amazing.

Sloane is very opinionated so she will let you (and the world) know if she doesn't want to do something.  She furrows her brow, crosses her arms, and loudly says "Nooooo!"  Neither Jude nor Sloane hold a grudge for long, but they both have tempers.  She's also quite the actress, which is a nice way of saying she can lie with the best of them.  She ended up in the ER last week due to some breathing issues and was laughing/chatting with Michael.  I walked in the hospital room and she immediately gave me the most pathetic face while saying, "Mama, I siiiiiick."

In the last few days, she refers to herself as "Me, Sloane" instead of simply "Me."  I'll be honest, when she no longer calls herself "Me" I will hide in my closet and cry.  I just think it's the cutest.

Sloane can count to 12, knows her colors and shapes, and quite a few letters.  She likes to sing several songs, though it's still the right words mixed with random Sloaney speak.

She thinks the world of her brother and her grandparents.  She loves pink and purple and twirling, as well as blocks, choo choos, and playing outside.  She is the girliest of girls but can also be quite the tomboy.

Sloane is about 31 lbs, 37.5" tall, and wears a size 8 shoe and 3T clothes (though 2T still fits).  Her arms and legs are so long and she still has quite the belly.  Her hair continues to grow at a snail's pace, but I've gotten so used to my pixie girl that it's impossible to imagine her with a bob (my second favorite little girl haircut).  ;)

It's hard to write about these precious kiddos because I can never think of the right words to describe how special they are.  I just reread the above and I only captured a tiny speck of what makes them so incredible.  Don't get me wrong - we have disaster days and moments that make me wonder how I'll ever get through the afternoon, but the joy they bring us is immeasurable.

I've also made a real effort to live life a little more like them.  To wake up each day thinking it's the best day ever.   As I'm teaching them their ABCs, they're teaching me to forgive quickly, hug tightly, and love unconditionally.  For only being two, they seem to have a handle on what really matters.  Grateful I get to spend my days learning from the best.

 I love you, I love you, I love you.  :)

32 Things to Tell My 16-Year-Old Self

I wrote the following post four years ago but so much has happened since then.  On the eve of my 33rd birthday, I came up with a few things I'd like to add.

September 2011

If I could have a chat with my 16-year-old self, this is what I would say...

Don’t stand on a chair on your 21st birthday and yell, “Everyone look, it's Bob Marley! Bob Marley is here!” It’s rude.

Use sunscreen. Wear sunglasses. Drink water. Wash your face at night.

You will not have everything figured out by the time you turn 30. But what a relief—how boring would life be if you did?

Your breath will be taken away so many times: Finishing a half marathon, looking up from a scrapbook to see your boyfriend down on one knee, and watching your baby’s heartbeat light up the screen are just a few...

When you’re with someone who’s the life of the party, your laughter will never be enough. Date them anyway—it'll allow you to appreciate the one who makes you laugh when no one else is around.

Quit eating crap. Your fast metabolism doesn’t last forever and bad habits are hard to break.

Thank your parents for making travel/vacations a priority. You've seen more sights than most your age.

Very soon you’ll have a dance party in the garage with Julie and Leslie. Have someone record it because you’ll reminisce about it forever.

Being class president is not necessary to get into college, but I’m proud of you for doing it. 12 years from now, you’ll help throw a pretty fantastic reunion.

The lessons you learn from your college friends will far outweigh the lessons you learn in the classroom. It’s ok to miss a few classes due to the memories you made the night before.

….But don’t miss too many classes, otherwise you’ll have reoccurring nightmares for the rest of your life.

Don’t hold grudges. It’s a waste of time and bitterness is not attractive.

You will not live in Fort Smith forever. Breathe.

Watch some soccer games in college—not all TU soccer players are jerks (one, in fact, is the nicest boy you'll ever meet).

Pay attention in German class. You’ll need it when you live in Deutschland for a month.

Spend more time getting to know John Paul and Matt Richard—their memories will far exceed their lives.

Your thoughts on politics and religion will change.

Just because someone is a grown up does not mean they've grown up. Immaturity can last a lifetime if you let it. Don’t let it.

Hug your parents every chance you get. You’ll miss those hugs when you live four hours away.

Your brother is better at math. Quit trying to compete and enjoy being the “fun one.”

Marriage is a slumber party every night with your best friend. But that friend will try to steal your pillow, so watch out.

Love yourself. Be proud of yourself. And rock those ridiculously short shorts while you still can. 

----

May 2015

Mom and Dad love you, no strings attached.  From day one they have cared for you, prayed for you, and treasured you.  You'll tell them you understand and sometimes won't believe them but you won't have a clue until you have your own.  And then you'll sit back and wonder how you ever doubted.

Babysit more.  You need practice.

Your heart is worth protecting.  Be careful with your relationships.

The doctor told you your scoliosis would make pregnancy painful.  You'll carry two large babies and never suffer any back pain until week 37 where you will Google,  "How to deliver twins at home."  Just kidding.  You probably don't even know what Google is yet.

Don't give up your dream of writing a book one day.

The month of May is fun.  The month of October is magical.

The two greatest days of your life will look nothing alike.   One you will look and feel beautiful, walking down the aisle toward your soon-to-be husband.  The other will start on a surgical table, where you will look and feel your worst.  By the end of both days, you will be forever grateful.

At some point in the near future, someone will hit the fast forward button and life will suddenly move very quickly.  I'm currently twice your age (for one more day), and the last 16 years have flown.  Don't ever wish a day away.  They go by fast enough on their own.

You are so very fortunate.  You have some tough days ahead of you that I so badly wish you wouldn't have to face, but you will never walk them alone.

You know how you always complain you never win anything?  When you turn 30, you'll win the lottery.  Their names are Jude & Sloane and they are the two best things that have ever happened to you and that cute soccer player.

17-year-old me

32-year-old me