Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts on a Tuesday...

I realize the following statement is going to make me sound like a complete narcissist, but I’m nothing if not honest: I like to go back and reread my own blog posts. I don’t spend hours a day doing this (I promise), but at the bottom of each post I have one of those “You might also like..." and oftentimes I’ll click on one of the recommended posts and read about something we did, say, three years ago. Some seem like they happened yesterday and other posts I’d swear I didn’t write because I have absolutely no recollection. When that happens, I open a new tab and research “Early-onset Alzheimer's." That shit is real, people.

Right now I’m reading Demetri Martin’s book, This Is A Book. The guy is hilarious. And pretty dang brilliant. For example, one chapter includes a few short palindromes and then he ends the chapter with a three-page palindrome. Three pages. He also draws a lot of pictures/charts/graphs, which crack me up. Below is typical Demetri Martin humor. If you think it’s funny, you will like his book/stand-up. If you don’t think it’s funny, forget his name because you’ll hate him. If you don’t understand it, open a new tab and research “Early-onset Alzheimer’s” because you’ve forgotten a lot, sister.

I joined a fantasy football league. Yep, you read that right. The name of our group is Real Housewives of Fantasy Football. When Lindsay asked me to join I sheepishly told her I don’t watch any of the Real Housewives shows. I am bloody brilliant. Anywho, we had a live draft last week, which was fun for the first thirty minutes. Two hours later I was all, “Do you play football? Great, you’re on my team.” I think Michael was super proud until he heard some of my ridiculous comments this weekend. (Something to do with not knowing the difference between a running back and wide receiver.) Also, did you know there was only one football game on Monday? You did? Very well then.

We experienced our first Porktemberfest and let me tell you... holy cow (holy pig?). A couple from our church hosts this every year but it’s typically Porktoberfest. She is expecting a baby in October so they decided to push the party up a month. The pig was amazing, although I felt a little sad for him all exposed like that. Met some great people and had a wonderful time.

We’re (slowly) redecorating our upstairs living area. I’m trying something new. It’s called, “Don’t buy everything at once.” With that in mind, the big room reveal will take place in approximately two to 47 months. Anyway, the color scheme (pronounced: sheeeme) is navy, orange, and chartreuse/lime. There will be plenty of white to keep it from looking like a dungeon, but it’ll definitely be different than our other rooms. Let’s hope we’re adding to the house value and not ruining our chances of ever selling it. You can always paint over navy, right?

Our San Fran trip is less than a month away. We can’t wait. Flights are booked, hotels are booked, outfits are mostly planned (leave me alone). All that’s left is filling in the hours between 8a and 11p. Hoping for another epic trip like NYC (I actually read all of the NYC posts this weekend and it reminded me how much we love to travel).

I guess that’s it for now. Oh and thanks for the lovely comments about our free crappy portrait. Several people have already said they’re planning to submit their own and my only request is you let me see it!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Our Free Crappy Family Portrait

This morning my alarm went off at its usual time. I rolled over and grabbed my phone to check email and read some blogs before I started my day. Michael was getting ready in the bathroom when he heard me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Not used to hearing such happiness at 6:30 in the morning, he asked what was going on and I gleefully showed him our free crappy portrait.

Let me back up a bit. It all began when I ran across their website: www.freecrappyportraits.com. The concept is simple—you send a short bio along with a few pictures and one of their many talented artists draws your family portrait. As soon as I heard about this website, I knew we wanted, nay needed, a free crappy portrait. Below is the bio and two pictures I submitted. I am quite certain you will see this beaut hanging in our home the next time you drop by. It's published HERE on their website and I already replied to Tera Sue letting her know she’d made our week. She definitely captured the essence of the Haynes family.

What I submitted...

We live in Dallas with Thumbs, our fat polydactyl cat, who makes Homer Simpson look like an Olympic athlete. Michael loves soccer, comics, and video games. Meredith loves math, manatees, and ostriches. We're as cool as we sound.

And the result--absolutely brilliant! I think my favorite part is Thumbs giving two thumbs up!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Party Like It's 1998, Part II

In case you missed my last blog post, I came up with a list of things I would love to tell my 16-year-old self. Michael made a list as well! Today is his 29th birthday so I thought it was a great day to share his thoughts...

In 5 years you won’t remember some of the things you consider so important and stress over right now.

Take half an hour and look at the book of jobs your mom gives you during your senior year in high school. You don’t have to figure out your destined profession, but at least get an idea so you major in something you enjoy.

"Catching up" is a phrase that should never be used when alcohol is involved.

Lock the door to your dorm. Always.

The arguments you’re trying to make are wrong. Your parents are right.

There’s nothing wrong with being young and single. Don’t try to be in a relationship during your entire high school and college careers.

Life is more than good grades and sports.

Be more outgoing in all situations. It pays off down the road.

The Rock Shox on your mountain bike can’t handle a giant tree root. Just lift your front wheel, you moron.

Holding grudges is futile and wasteful.

Make an effort to keep in touch with friends you won’t see regularly.

Stay away from fast food. That stuff is nasty.

Figure out that sunglasses are helpful before you turn 25, that way you might be able to keep your eyes open during pictures.

You’re going to get hurt early in the year during your junior season in college. Redshirt right then and have the surgery. Did you know you had an extra bone in each foot? Freak.

Pay attention to the girl in the chicken hat.

Take golf lessons in high school.

Call your parents more often when you’re away at school. And let them know you appreciate them buying you all the loot at Sam’s, including the economy size box of Twinkies.

If I could add one more: "You will make your future wife so, so happy."

Happy Birthday Michael! Love love!

Age 15

Age 17ish

Age 28

Party Like It's 1998

Over the last few weeks I've seen a familiar post finding its way around blog-land and decided I should partake in the fun (just like the vlog). One day I swear I'll be a trendsetter. Until then...

If I could have a chat with my 16-year-old self, this is what I would say...

Don’t stand on a chair on your 21st birthday and yell “Everyone look, it's Bob Marley! Bob Marley is here!” It’s rude.

Use sunscreen. Wear sunglasses. Drink water. Wash your face at night.

You will not have everything figured out by the time you turn 30. But what a relief—how boring would life be if you did?

Your breath will be taken away so many times: Finishing a half marathon, looking up from a scrapbook to see your boyfriend down on one knee, and watching your baby’s heartbeat light up the screen are just a few...

When you’re with someone who’s the life of the party, your laughter will never be enough. Date them anyway—it'll allow you to appreciate the one who makes you laugh when no one else is around.

Quit eating crap. Your fast metabolism doesn’t last forever and bad habits are hard to break.

Thank your parents for making travel/vacations a priority. You've seen more sights than most your age.

Very soon you’ll have a dance party in the garage with Julie and Leslie. Have someone record it because you’ll reminisce about it forever.

Being class president is not necessary to get into college, but I’m proud of you for doing it. 12 years from now, you’ll help throw a pretty fantastic reunion.

The lessons you learn from your college friends will far outweigh the lessons you learn in the classroom. It’s ok to miss a few classes due to the memories you made the night before.

….But don’t miss too many classes, otherwise you’ll have reoccurring nightmares for the rest of your life.

Don’t hold grudges. It’s a waste of time and bitterness is not attractive.

You will not live in Fort Smith forever. Breathe.

Watch some soccer games in college—not all TU soccer players are jerks.

Pay attention in German class. You’ll need it when you live in Deutschland for a month.

Spend more time getting to know John Paul and Matt Richard—their memories will far exceed their lives.

Your thoughts on politics and religion will change. (Hooray!)

Just because someone is a grown up does not mean they've grown up. Immaturity can last a lifetime if you let it. Don’t let it.

Hug your parents every chance you get. You’ll miss those hugs when you live four hours away.

Your brother is better at math. Quit trying to compete and enjoy being the “fun one.”

Marriage is a slumber party every night with your best friend. But that friend will try to steal your pillow, so watch out.

Love yourself. Be proud of yourself. And rock those ridiculously short shorts while you still can.

I wish my 16-year-old self could offer my 29-year-old self some tips as well. Something tells me the thoughts would revolve around a boy, queso, and shopping. I guess some things never change? :)

Stay tuned--Michael put a list together as well!

(I was 17 here--close enough...)

2 weeks shy of 29...

Monday, September 5, 2011

Never Forget

Michael and I saw this segment on ESPN yesterday and I've been thinking about it ever since. It's a wonderful tribute to someone who lost his own life in order to save others.

Grab a tissue (or if you're like me, grab the entire box) and CLICK HERE.

We will never forget...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Lots O' Pictures!

I've been saying I'm going to do a picture post for approximately five months so it's about time. It's going to be a long post with lots of "click here's" and "go there's." If we're friends on Facebook you've already seen most of the pictures so this is old news and I suggest you move on to the next blog (thanks for stopping by). If not, here we go!

April - Portraits with Co-Workers

May - Annie and Craig's Wedding in Charleston, SC

They surprised me with cupcakes for my 29th Birthday! :)

For more pictures from the weekend in Charleston CLICK HERE or visit Kait's blog by CLICKING HERE.

June - Allison and Justin's Wedding in Greenville, SC

For more pictures from our Greenville weekend, CLICK HERE.

July - Summer's Baby Shower in Kansas City, MO

For more pictures from Summer's Baby Shower, CLICK HERE.

You made it--congrats!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Vloggers Unite!

If you follow at least 4 people, you've probably seen this "accent vlog" that has taken over the nets. I've never done a vlog (video blog) so I thought I'd give it a try.

Please excuse my outfit. It's "I worked 10 hours and am very sleepy" couture. You can find it in stores everywhere.

I don't actually know who started this phenomenon but I'm sure they're quite lovely. End of story: It was fun.

The instructions are to say these words:

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

And answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Here we go! (By the way, I am cracking up with the still shot. Come on YouTube, help a girl out. If you don't watch this--and that is fine--please know that I don't normally look like the still shot. I don't think. Oh man...)


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