Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Should Be Sleeping...

Tyler tagged me. Go check out her blog! (I believe most of you already do. Blog-land makes Kevin Bacon look weak--only 2 or 3 degrees of separation here. I can't decide if that's cool or very, very sad.)

If you could be in any TV show when you were a kid, what would it be?
Age 5: Today’s Special.
Age 10: Saved by the Bell. I remember thinking (if I were on the show) I’d be able to steal Zach away from Kelly. Obviously I thought very highly of myself at that age.

What was your favorite Christmas gift as a child?
Teddy Ruxpin (& Grubby). I adored this duo.... until the tape player messed up and I watched Teddy die a slow and horrible death. “Heeeeey everybooooodyy-y-y-y.” (Silence)

What actress would you want to play you if your life was made into a movie?
This question was so much harder than I thought. I spent my entire drive home from work trying to think of someone and all I could think of was who it would not be. That list would include (but is not limited to):
Miley Cyrus
Paris Hilton
Jessica Alba
Cameron Diaz
Drew Barrymore

Shall I continue? I shan't. I asked Michael to name an actress and within 12 seconds he'd named three: Rachel McAdams, Charlize Theron, and Kate Bosworth. Don't think I agree with him but what a smart guy for choosing such pretty ladies. :)

What decade fad do you wish would come back?
Mid to late 60s – Short skirts, shift dresses, awesome hair.

What song describes your life?
I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

(Have you seen this movie? If not, I beg you to watch it. So good.)

What was your favorite subject in school?
Math (my all-time favorite was Algebra II) and English.

If you could have a dream job for a day, what would it be?
Normally I’d say “author” but there’s no way I could write an entire book in one day and I’d feel sheepish the next day when I'm back at my real job and have only written 20 pages. So I’ll say one of those people on the travel channel that visits amazing hotels in fabulous places and tells the viewer about their glorious experiences. My dad says I remind him of Samantha Brown and I think that means I should take her job
(ironically, I find her quite annoying so I'm not sure what that says about me).

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
I realize I’m turning my back on the ostrich and manatee by not picking either (hellooooo pea-sized brain and endangered species—no thanks!), so I think I’d say a thinner version of Thumbs Magee: good food, good parents, no responsibilities, no competition.

I don't know the official rules so I am going to tag two people. I know, I'm such an overachiever.



Good night everyone!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Eerily Similar

Someone just forwarded this to me and I can't stop laughing. Why?

1) It's damn funny.

2) It is my husband. The humor, the thoughts, everything about it. I think anyone who knows him (or has read some of his posts on here) would agree.

I know this went around a year or so ago but it still makes me laugh. Happy Tuesday!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Honeymoon Is Over

Want proof?

As we were about to fall asleep last night, I rested my head on Michael's shoulder and thanked him again for the sweet letter and wonderful anniversary. I pulled back to look at him (which was nearly impossible since it was so dark) just as he started to say, "I love you very much." Unfortunately, he wasn't able to finish the sweet statement because his retainer popped out and a large amount of spit landed right on my cheek.

That, my friends, is marriage.

(And I wouldn't trade it for anything.)

(But I think I'll put a box of tissues on my side table.)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

And One From Michael

Michael and I planned on writing separate anniversary posts but never mentioned what they would be about. Turns out we both wrote letters to one another. I apologize for so much sappiness in one day. No, I take that back. No apologies.... (ps. The Chipotle story is in no way true. Ahem....)

Dear Meredith,

I wanted to let you know that you've made all the cliches come true. I know we're definitely not newlyweds anymore on our 3rd anniversary, but I still get excited when I see you for the first time each day and when we get to do our favorite things together whether that be eating sushi or heading to bed on a cold night. When times have been tough, you've been my rock. You're always there to support me and make sure I don't get down on myself, but you also won't let me give up and you'll let me know when I need to change my attitude. You miraculously hold up to my sarcastic humor, less the humor, and always let me know when I've done something warranting the big dumb animal title. We're happy even when we're not because we've always got each other. We can come home from work, complain to each other, and then make everything melt away by putting on our comfy clothes and crawling in bed with some orange rolls. We both love traveling, but I would be happy with you if we couldn't take another trip the rest of our days. We plan who gets which bathroom on the way home from Chipotle. We know what petting the crusty means (Thumbs!). People watching. They say to always include praises with our prayers and I know I always have at least one. At Steve and Kait's rehearsal dinner, Steve's dad asked which one I was with and I pointed to you. He looked over, then looked back to me and asked how I managed that. I told him I had no idea, but that I had you trapped now and wasn't letting go. I'm so lucky to have you in my life, and I love you more every day. Thanks for putting up with the awkward package that is me and being so wonderful. I love you Meredith Wee.

A Letter To my Husband


Dear Michael,
We've been married three years! Can you believe it? I'm sure you can since I've mentioned it every day for the last few weeks. I guess that gives you an idea of how happy I am to be your wife.

I, Meredith, take you, Michael, to be my wedded husband...
The other day I said I was so proud of you and you asked me why. Michael, I'm proud of you for so many things. For your quiet grace. For your humbleness. For your optimism. For your constant patience. For your love of our family and friends. For not only forgiving my quirks but loving them. For knowing when to laugh. For knowing when to say absolutely nothing. For simply being you.

And I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful wife…
Recently you asked if I pray every day and I told you I do. You didn’t ask what I pray for but the answer is you. Always you. I pray for your present, I pray for your future, and I thank God for our past. It is my greatest joy to be Mrs. Haynes.

In plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow,
in sickness and in health…
2009 was a year of ups and downs so we declared 2010 to be the year of simplicity and ease. I think we’ve both learned that trying to plan our own life makes the big guy upstairs laugh. 2010 has had its own challenges, but we’ve managed to get through each and every bump with a shrug and a laugh. I know more bumps are on the horizon and call me crazy but I’m almost looking forward to them. Every struggle, every misstep we conquer together is valid proof that you and I were meant for one another. My prayer is that we never take the plenty, the joy, and the health for granted.
As long as we both shall live.
Since we started dating I’ve been cursed with a few wrinkles and you’ve been blessed with a few grey hairs (let’s be honest: grey hair is hot, wrinkles are not). This is not to say we need a cane and walker, but as long as we’re around one another every wrinkle and grey hair is the result of a precious life well-lived together. And for that reason I will cherish these smile lines because I know why they’re here.

I can’t wait to grow old with you, Michael Haynes.

Happy Anniversary! Love love. Merdi
But there is not enough time
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together… -JJ

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Fur Is The Only Thing They Have In Common

For the past few months, Michael and I have had back-to-back weekends that made us feel like this furry fella...

Unfortunately, I have the energy of this furry fella....

(For those of you who asked about it, Thumbs is posing with my Ebay handbag!)

Thumbs, it's mine. You can't have it.

That's it for now. Should have a weekend(s) recap soon. Hope yours was wonderful!

Thursday, October 7, 2010


By now I’m sure you’ve heard about Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers student who committed suicide after being the victim of a terrible prank. This incident has caused an onslaught of anti-bullying campaigns, news stories, etc. I was listening to the radio on my way to work and they asked each other who was the bully and who was bullied (as kids). Most said they were one or the other. I started thinking about myself as a kiddo and realized something.

I was both.

I’ve mentioned junior high a few times on here. I typically avoid the topic because holy hell those days sucked. There were teeny tiny wonderful moments for every three or four terrible moments. I cried. A lot. I complained. A lot. I remember days when my mom would sit next to me on my bed, hold my hand and say, “You’ll get through this. You will.” Between hiccups and cries I’d tell her she didn’t understand. Later I found out she understood completely--she went through the same torment. That’s the thing, bullying isn’t new. My mom and I were made fun of for the exact same issues by the exact same type of people. Both of us knew what it was like to want to disappear, and we’d been made to feel small enough that disappearing didn’t seem that impossible.

I was “lucky” in the sense that I was only bullied for a few years. Once I went to high school, all was good. I’m sure I was still made fun of (weren’t we all?) but no one said it to my face. Perhaps it was because I was no longer 4’11” and flat-chested. I was never picked on for my personality, my intelligence, or my morals. Just my looks. But when you’re 12 that feels like everything.

I can sit here and feel sorry for myself or I can think back to 5th grade when I was the bully. A group of us were horrible to one person. And it wasn’t just her looks. We picked on every single part of who she was. I never did it to her face but I was brutal behind her back and witnessed blatant cruelty dozens of times without saying a word. I was just as bad as the ones who outright bullied her.

Almost twenty years later it still haunts me. How I could be that cruel, that demeaning, that repulsive of a person. I was only 10 but I knew better. For the longest time I’ve wondered about her. Is she happy? Is she married? Is she safe? Is she alive?

I guess this sob-story is to say I imagine most of us have been the victim but most of us have also been the perpetrator. There were a few positives to getting bullied, but that’s because I was (eventually) able to learn from it and move on. Made my skin thicker, eyes wider, and gave me a sarcastic, self-deprecating humor that makes people laugh. I think of those who dealt with torment for many years, or worse, refused to deal with it and instead took their own lives. It breaks my heart.

The thing is… my parents didn’t raise a bully. They raised a good girl who made that terrible decision all by herself and later had a healthy dose given right back to her. There is a simple answer to this problem but it’s obviously not the popular answer. And until we figure out how to make simple and popular synonymous, it’s never going to stop.

What a waste.


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