Isn't our flag a beaut? I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend.
I loved having Michael home for three days--it was so much better than our typical two. I'd actually come pretty far in our six weeks of long-distance but that extra day brought me right back to the beginning. I miss him so much today. Only a few more weeks and we will be together again. We went out to eat a few times, watched some great movies, and had an ice cream date at the Riverwalk. I loved every minute.
Let's talk about our neighborhood pool. Keep in mind, Michael and I are the weird couple in the neighborhood. Weird = no kids. After Michael left yesterday I sauntered off to the pool with my sunscreen in hand, sunglasses on, InStyle under my arm, and a smile on my face. As I got closer to the pool I heard the familiar sound of kids laughing. As I got even closer, I also heard the screaming, temper tantrums, and adults yelling.... My steps became smaller and smaller, slower and slower. But I'd already seen the pool so there was no turning back. I lifted my chin and walked into total mass chaos.
I have this problem where I think everyone watches me as I walk to my lounge chair. I don't mean it in the cocky, narcissistic way, I mean it in the, "What the heck is SHE doing here?" kind of way. Watching, judging, you get my drift. I know I stick out at our pool. I rarely wear my wedding ring (suncreen + wedding ring = ew), I do not own (nor do I ever plan to own) a mom swimsuit, and my biggest concern is whether or not my iPod's battery is going to last long enough for me to fall asleep. I then spend the next half hour wondering what the neighbors think of me. Am I the 27-year-old daughter who refuses to leave her parents house? Am I the mistress of the 55-year-old soccer dad? Am I all alone but have a lucrative job? When really, I have to believe they don't even notice me at all. And I can't decide which is worse. I'm the type who loves to analyze people and imagine their life story. I'll never know if I'm right or wrong but it's a fun (albeit childish) game and I refuse to give it up. Do any of you do this or do I need to see someone for an extreme anxiety disorder?
Regardless, I managed to lay out for over an hour without getting pegged in the eye by a football. Nice! I made eye contact with exactly one person, watched over a dozen kids play "Marco Polo," listened to two parents argue over the dinner menu, and eventually left feeling just as isolated as when I arrived. This whole being alone business? Yeah, I'm so over it.
4 comments:
Omg I felt the SAME WAY...except it was at my former church. Crazy, I know...but...My mom likes to get her baby fix by helping out in the nursery. Therefore, if lotsa babies are there, I'd just go to the service by myself. No biggie. But, I felt like everyone (mostly young families) was staring and making guesses about me. Agh!
Good for you for getting your tan on in your non-mom-swimsuit-wearing glory! :)And hooray for ice cream dates and long weekends. :)
Conjuring up imaginary stories about people is one of life's greatest pleasures. No shame in that game. Did you wear your new swimsuit?
And I'm sure all the moms were just looking at you thinking "Dang, there's that cute newlywed who gets to sit there w/ her In Style and ipod and doesn't have to watch an annoying kid! Those were the days!" :)
Leslie is EXACTLY right. I assure you that each and every mom at that pool feels a jealous pang or two for the thin, beautiful, relaxed gal reading her magazine and listening to her iPod in peace. Going to the pool used to be such a leisurely experience, but being responsible for Ella in the baby pool is more stressful than being a lifeguard in the deep end on Memorial Day. And I say that as a gal who guarded every summer from the age of 16 to 24. From experience, dude. :)
Anytime I'm at the neighborhood pool with my kiddo and see a young, childless woman, I'm slightly wistful. I love laying out!! My son is entirely too active for me to do it now without him drowning. Don't be paranoid, just enjoy it!
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