Sunday, January 25, 2015

52 Project | 4/52

52 Project | Week 4
January 18 - 24, 2015
 All of this in less than 15 seconds.  They are the best!

Jude the (old looking) dude.

Sweet Sloaney

Fun Memory:  Last night we had a last minute triple date with some friends!  Ann Marie, Erika, and I (along with Ashley and Meri) text daily about life with twins but my favorite part of the evening was listening to our husbands recount the early days - what little they could remember.  All three of them had invented (most likely after severe sleep deprivation) some sort of contraption that would make life with newborn twins a little easier.  Too bad we were all too tired to copyright any of the ideas at the time.  The girls have heard each other's stories again and again, but I loved hearing the dads' perspectives.  Such a fun time!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Random Thoughts on a Wednesday

The other day I was writing back and forth with a dear friend and our emails, as they often do, went from lighthearted and funny to quite serious.  We started talking about social media: the highs (so high!) and the lows (so low).  I've been thinking about it ever since.  These days, if I think about something for more than a millisecond, that means something.

I happen to be a huge fan of social media.  It was my saving grace when I planned my 10-year high school reunion.  It's allowed me to completely document our engagement, wedding, first years of wedded bliss, pregnancy & birth of our twins, and now our toddlers.  I can visibly see how much my photography and waistline have grown and how much my grammar and youthfulness have declined.  I have met some of my very best friends.  I started a twin blog with followers I now consider family.

What else has social media done to me?  It has made me envious and jealous.  It has caused self-doubt.  It has shown me what the world sees is only a snippet of someone's life.  It has disappointed me.  Confused me.  Hurt me.

There is a very fine line between documenting your life for your sake and documenting your life for others.  Oftentimes I take pictures of Jude & Sloane and convince myself, "I'm taking this for me" and then I realize I've checked to see how many likes the picture received and let that number rule above all else.  It feels good to be liked - no one can deny that.  But it is a slippery slope, isn't it? 

I remember learning about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in high school and being blown away by the simplicity of it.  To reach self-actualization (the highest tier) is to see your full potential, which can only be achieved after you've mastered basic needs of safety, love, belonging, esteem, etc.  It seemed easy enough to achieve at the time but that was before Facebook.  Sometimes I wonder if social media has thrown such a kink in things that it's nearly impossible to ever reach this level.  But then I read emails from Twin Talk followers who've said a post someone wrote gave them hope and encouragement in a really dark time.  And in that moment I realize, if treated correctly, social media can be an enormous blessing.

As I said to my friend the other day, my thoughts on this are a jumbled mess, which is apparent with everything I've said above.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing about it except I think it's good to keep myself in check from time to time and this is the easiest way to do it.  Via social media.  :)

I also want to include her words (hope that's ok, Aubrey!) because they really hit home with me:

Acceptance and approval are impossible on the interwebs.  For every supporter, there is an equal and opposite detractor.  It's Newton's third law of the internet.  

Hugs to you, my friend.  Living in the 21st century sucks sometimes.  Know that I loved you way back in the 20th century when life was simple.  :)

It's heartbreaking and refreshing all at once - It takes the pressure off once and for all.  I'm grateful for friends like her.

Moral of the story?  I blame Kim Kardashian for all of this.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

52 Project | 3/52

52 Project | Week 3
January 11 - 17, 2015

Love, Hugs & Rock 'n' Roll (x2)

They rarely do this anymore so it was such a fun surprise the other night!

Just a boy and his (sister's) stroller.

My sweet baby girl

Fun Memory:  We've all been sick this week.  5/7 days to be exact.  My memories may sound small and insignificant to you, but they were the absolute highlights of my week. 

With Jude:  We found out two spots opened up in an amazing MDO very close to our home.  I was both thrilled and devastated (Jude & Sloane love their current teachers).  I was sitting on the couch, thinking about the switch, and a few tears ran down my face.  Jude walked over to me, gently held my face with his hands, quietly said "Mama," and kissed me. 

With Sloane: Growing up, my family used to "draw faces" (use your finger to trace the other person's facial features).  It's wonderful and so relaxing.  I've done it with Sloane since she was a tiny baby, typically before I kiss her goodnight.  I was tracing her face and quietly saying each feature.  "Eyebrows, eyes, nose, chin, cheeks..."  When I was done, she decided she wanted a turn and started drawing my face.  She carefully traced each feature as she said its name, ending with the "moe" (mole) on my forehead.  :) 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

52 Project | 2/52

52 Project | Week 2
January 4 - 10, 2015

New coffee machine for mom, new toy for us!

 "People always ask our mom if we're 'natural.'  Of course we're natural!  Weirdos."

Synchronized Brushing

Fun Memory:  Now that J & S are two, we're all about starting new family traditions!  Michael and I decided to meal plan every Saturday morning, go out for breakfast somewhere fun, and then grocery shop together.  In our pajamas (well, Jude & Sloane at least).  This week we went to a cute donut shop and Jude & Sloane were in awe of everything around them.  This particular shop had a tiny train that went around the entire store and a GIANT stuffed Mickey & Minnie.  We shopped at Market Street and got the car cart, which they loved.  So excited for this weekly tradition!

Terribly Sad Memory (I promise not to feature this every week): No more pacifiers.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

The Story of the Pacifier

When Michael and I knew everything about kids (read: before we had kids), we publicly declared our hatred for the pacifier.  Our kid(s) wouldn't need one and that was that.  If we DID ever use a pacifier, it would be called exactly that: a pacifier.  No paci, no binky, none of that silly stuff.  I remember throwing around the name "The Binkster" and Michael told me to stop talking.

I've written about this before but the first night home with Jude & Sloane was a total nightmare.  Everyone cried.  No one slept.  I cursed myself for not reading any books and Michael cursed himself for marrying me (he didn't say that, but I'm fairly certain he was thinking it). We finally broke down and gave the kids pacifiers.  And - I am not kidding you - the booming voice of God (or someone - it was really late) said "FINALLY."  It may have been my mom who was trying to sleep upstairs.  The kids quieted down and went to sleep immediately.  We looked at each other with wide eyes and shook our heads in disbelief.  Why did we ever curse this beautiful, magical piece of heaven? 

From day 5, our kids have been phenomenal sleepers.  In the rock n play, the pack n play, the crib, the carseat, the sofa, you name it.  And every single time (except for the car), they've had a pacifier in their mouth. 

When Jude & Sloane were a couple months old, we discovered Wubbanubs.  I'd seen other babies with these strange devices and couldn't understand why anyone other than a dog would want a stuffed animal hanging out of their mouth.  But as with everything else, we gave it a go and were so glad we did.  After losing 429 pacifiers around the house (they're worse than socks in the dryer), we easily found their Wubbanubs.  They had just enough weight to sit on the twins' stomachs while they slept, never to be lost again. 

The first time their Wubbanubs broke, we decided we'd buy one more set and that was it.  Once those broke, we'd be done.  And we stuck to our plan.  When the final Wubbanub broke, I cried.  I looked at this tiny stuffed elephant and saw the worn ear where Jude rubbed it each night.  The grey fur that looked like it'd been washed far too many times.  From there on out, we used regular pacifiers.  In hindsight, this was a good thing as the kids were both walking and the only thing weirder than a Wubbanub is a Wubbanub on a walking toddler.  Jude and Sloane had these tiny animal pendelums swinging back and forth, back and forth.

We've been pretty good at limiting their pacifier use to naptime and bedtime.  When they wake up in the morning they know to hand me their pacifiers and we put them away until it's time to go to sleep.  The only exception is when we're in public or when they're sick.  Michael and I will not leave the house without them as they have been lifesavers too many times.  They truly do pacify these kiddos.

One day I noticed I'd started calling it a "paci."  Michael cringed.  I told him I could start calling it "The Binkster" and he left the room.

We promised ourselves we would take away the pacifiers when they turned two.  10 days before their second birthday they were proud new owners of toddler beds and we knew better.  Too much change in too little time is not a good thing for our toddlers.  No, we would let them use them a little longer.  

Today was a big day.  Today we took away the pacifiers.  Poor Jude & Sloane were so confused at naptime.  They kept asking for them and we explained they were big kids and no longer needed them.  Sloane fought it at first but went to sleep in typical fashion - on her back with her arms directly above her head.  But Jude.  Poor Jude didn't understand.  He was so sad.  He cried off and on for 75 minutes before he finally fell asleep.  By that point he had no energy left to fight.  I took a shower and cried right along with him.

I think you all know by now that I do NOT like obvious proof that my babies are growing up.  When they started crawling, started walking, turned one, starting talking, stopped nursing, turned two.... I smiled on the outside and was their biggest cheerleader.  But on the inside?  On the inside I kept saying, "Please don't.  Please stop.  Stay little."  It's not that I don't look forward to their future.  I just want to let them be little for as long as possible.  Giving up the pacifier was more proof they are growing up so fast.

Tonight we let them play a little before we put them to bed.  We tucked them in and Michael said the nightly prayer (including the "P word," which we'd already decided we weren't going to say in hopes they'd already forgotten).  He said "Amen" and I carefully glanced at both of them, waiting to hear them ask for their pacifiers.  But they seemed quite content without them.  We kissed Jude & Sloane goodnight and walked out of the room.  (And then back in the room - these toddler beds are not for the faint of heart.)

On the day they were born, I feel like I was given a checklist of their entire life.  It seemed long at first, but I swear I'm checking off another item each day.  Check, check, check.  And I'm not sure I've made it through any of them without tears.  I know I will never be voted Mom of the Year (if there is such a thing I would at least like to be invited to the after party, thank you), and I will never be the one who writes parenting books, but I fiercely love my kiddos and am so very proud of them. 

It feels silly to cry over something we were so determined never to use.  But I think being a parent has changed me in more ways than I will ever understand, and (for the most part) I think it's for the better. 

Two years, two months, and two weeks with pacifiers.  Today began Day 1 without.

Check. 

Today at naptime...



Saturday, January 3, 2015

52 Project | 1/52

I recently decided to participate in the 52 Project. The concept is simple… Post a picture each week. Since I'm no longer doing Jude & Sloane's monthly updates (at least that's not the plan), I want to make sure I don't go another two months before my next post. Some weeks I may post one picture, others I may post three. Who knows?! I also plan to include a fun memory from the week to help me remember these precious moments that go by too quickly.

52 Project | Week 1
December 28 - January 3, 2015

Early dinner at Breadwinners - lots of hugs & kisses!

Fun Memory: Tonight we had our very first family movie night and watched Cinderella. We had the fire going and all of us were in our pajamas, snuggled close on the couch. Sloane enjoyed it but got restless toward the end.  Jude was captivated the entire time.

2014

Hello, old friend.

It's been two months since my last post - a lot has happened and one post couldn't begin to cover it, so I'm going to give myself grace and move right along.

Well, maybe a highlight reel is necessary... for prosperity's sake.
  • Sloane might be the funniest little person I know.  Michael and I spend our days cracking up at her antics as well as being a little terrified of our future with this sneaky, silly girl.  The world is her stage, and the rest of us are merely players (I just butchered Shakespeare but you get the point).  She got her first haircut (Jude got his 8th) and is the cutest little pixie I know. 
  • Jude the Dude is pure sweetness in a 33-pound body.  All he wants to do is hug his friends and make out with everything in site (it's not concerning at all) (hide your daughters).  And big news for this guy - he's currently on Nordstrom's website, sporting a dapper bow tie! It's silly to be so excited about it but we may have visited the page 10+ times the day we found out. Michael joked that Jude now refers to himself as "The Talent." 
  • We LOVE our new home.  We still have random boxes to unpack and pictures to hang, but we're just so happy to be here.  One day it will be practically perfect in every way (in our eyes) but we're taking our time to get it there.  Until then, it is loud and chaotic and messy and FUN.
  • Twin Talk is alive and thriving - it's my third baby and I'm so grateful for the connections made through the blog.  It's something I so desperately wanted while I was pregnant and makes the twin journey a little less daunting and no longer isolating.  I'm so excited for 2015!
  • I also started a fun little apparel biz with my twin mom friends in DFW: Multiplicitees (yes, it's purposefully misspelled).  I love these girls and have been so blessed by their friendship.  We have lots of fun ideas in store for 2015 - woohoo!
  • Michael changed his work hours to 7-4p so the commute is less daunting and he gets several hours with the kids each night.  This has been HUGE for all of us.  By 5p I'm waving the white flag and we are all ready for dad to be home.  He continues to be the rock of our family (though Jude is slowly creeping up on him and will probably be the strongest family member by 2016).  
  • Thanksgiving and Christmas were wonderful! Lots of family time both here and Arkansas. It is so fun seeing them around their cousins - the past few times consisted of independent play but this time they played together so well! 
Overall, the kiddos are doing really well and are the very definition of toddlers. Lots of highs and lows, sometimes happening within one minute. Jude loves to build tall towers and Sloane loves to destroy them. Sloane loves to color masterpieces (as well as remove each crayon's clothes) and Jude loves to throw her artwork on the floor. But then I'll I look up and they're in their own twin world, laughing or hugging and I realize for the one billionth time that I'm so, so lucky. 

2014 was an amazing year.  Of course it had its ups and downs but it was my very favorite year to date.

I have a few resolutions for 2015 but my main one is to be intentional with my time. I'm not a busy person - I have friends who do more things in one day than I do in a week.  But at the end of each day I feel overwhelmed and behind due to poor time management. And what's worse, when I'm in the middle of something, I'm oftentimes thinking of what comes next. My advice for myself last year was to BE PRESENT and most days I failed miserably.  So here's to a new year and a more organized me. 

If 2015 is half as good as 2014, I'll be thrilled!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Pics from the last two months in absolutely no order...











 

 



















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