Jude & Sloane's Mom

Not long ago I was catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile.  She asked how I was doing and I replied, "The kids are great.  They are into absolutely everything."  It didn't even dawn on me until I'd already replied that she didn't ask about the kids.  She asked about me.

My response was probably pretty typical for a stay-at-home-mom.  Look at my Instagram account.  My facebook account.  My blog.  Michael and I include ourselves in pictures every once in awhile to prove we still exist, but the majority of our pictures and stories are of the twins. 

This is not a sob story.  I love my life.  My messy, crazy, diaper-filled life.  But something finally clicked.  I realized it doesn't make me a bad mom if I allow myself to have a life outside of them.

And it was like the sun came out after too many rainy days. 

One of the first things I did after this realization was submit a few articles to TWINS Magazine (yes, writing an article about parenting right after I decided I could be more than "just a mom" is quite ironic).   Being published has always been on my bucket list but I never felt I had anything important to say.  I figured I'd give it a shot and when I didn't hear back for a few months I decided they were not interested.  Bruised ego for sure, but not hearing anything led me to pursue something I've been wanting to do since I was pregnant, which I will explain more in the upcoming weeks.  Last week they released the 30th anniversary edition of TWINS Magazine and I found out they published one of my articles!  I was so excited.  (Still excited.  Too excited.)

The article is a blog post I wrote last April. 

So there's a tiny tidbit of my life right now.  I have more to share and I plan to do so more consistently.  I love being Jude and Sloane's mom.  I love being Michael's wife.  I love being a life group member and an amateur photographer and a casual writer.  And I love that I don't have to choose just one.

 

I posted this news on Instagram last week and was overwhelmed by the kind words.   Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to say such nice things.  Means more to me than you will ever know. 

I'm Your Biggest Supporter

Before I had kids I was one of those women who rolled my eyes at crying babies in church, shuttered at tantrums in the grocery store, and felt like pacifiers were basically a gateway drug.  I shared my "I will never (fill in blank)" and "My child will never (fill in the blank)" stories to all who would listen.

And then I had two babies.

There are many statements I made pre-babies that I still stand by.  Most of them, actually.  The difference is I now realize what I feel is best for Jude & Sloane is exactly that... what I feel is best.  There are one million different ways to raise a child and my job is to raise my two the best I know how... and to keep my nose out of everyone else's business.

The day I became a mom I became a supporter of other moms.  I didn't look at them as competition, I looked at them--at us--as an alliance.  We are a group of women with different backgrounds, different beliefs, and different values, with one very important thing in common: we love our kids.  To me, as long as you love your kid, I'm your biggest supporter.

I bring this up because a friend of mine was deeply hurt by other moms today.  She posted a picture on Instagram and mentioned she and her husband tried the cry it out method with their daughter last night.  She received multiple comments and while many were words of affirmation, there were a few that were downright hateful.  Some questioned her parenting while others told her to "do her research." One even said she hoped my friend's children let her cry it out in a nursing home one day.  What?!

I was absolutely appalled.  I'm not upset that these people disagree with the CIO method, but why did they find it necessary to say such awful things to a fellow mom?

There are several things we do (or don't do) with Jude & Sloane that might make you raise your eyebrows.  They don't have bumpers in their cribs.  They are almost six months old and have never had rice cereal.  The television stays off when I'm home alone with them.  If a pacifier falls on the ground, we stand by the 5-second rule.  We let them cry it out.  They get all of their vaccinations.

All of these things could make one question our parenting but so far we've only received support.  I know our day will come when someone makes a rude remark or a person without kids opens their mouth like I once did.  I hope I handle it with grace.  But more than that, I hope it never happens.  This post is not new information--I have read multiple articles, blog posts, status updates, etc., that all center around the same idea:  Support each other.  Love one another.  And the next time you feel the need to say something negative, smile instead and tell that mom she's doing an amazing job.

Because she is.