I Wish I Could Blame It On A Robber...

I want to describe what our house looks like right now but I have typed and deleted five different phrases because each involved a severe expletive. And I'm trying to keep it classy here. So just close your eyes and imagine a home that has been completely ransacked and destroyed. The only difference is the robber decided not to take anything but instead politely wrapped all breakable items in white packaging paper (thank you, robber).

I don't know how some people do it. We are not a couple who loves "stuff." I am a firm believer that just because there is a bare surface does not mean it needs to hold eight ceramic figurines. But once we started putting everything in boxes, our few valuable goods gave rabbits a run for their money. It's not pretty.

My biggest fear is we'll rent Mr. Gigantor Uhaul and our stuff won't all fit. And then what? Ugh, just the thought of it makes me cringe so let's move on.

After an entire month of badgering the insurance company, my car is finally in the shop and will soon be the proud owner of a new bumper. I attempted to drop off my car twice last week and was turned away each time due to some misunderstanding. The rental place felt so badly for me that they upgraded me to an Equinox. I had no idea what that meant.

The convo went something like this:

Dude: Well, the insurance has you down for a small car (smirk, laugh) but I think we can take care of that for you. How about an upgrade to an Equinox?
Me: Ok. (no idea)
Dude: Here's your key!
Me: ....
Dude: It's right over there.
Me: Which one?
Dude: The one in the back.
Me: Yeah... I have no idea which one is the Equinox.
Dude: The black one over there...
Me: (Glancing at the 4 black cars in the back) ...
Dude: (Blink. Blink blink. Blink.) Ok, let me show you. (Walks me to the driver's seat of the car.)
Me: Ohhh! It's an SUV. Nice!
Dude: Ma'am, you are a complete idiot. (Ok so he didn't say that, but the look he gave me was enough.)

For those of you who are like me and don't really follow Chevy cars, I am the temporary owner of this beast:



I must say, I forgot how fun it is to drive an SUV. I do feel like I need to apologize to every tree and baby I pass. Poooor earth, I'm sorry for my fumes. I will be happy to reunite with my Prius in the next few days.

I guess that's it for now. I would like to give a shout-out to June, the month that gives me my husband back. My last day of work is now June 18 so only 19 days until Thumbs has a dad once again. Woohoo!