Monday, May 18, 2009

House Vs. Home

A month after Michael and I married, I asked if we could visit an open house I'd found in the paper that morning. We both knew we weren't in the market to buy but I thought it was never too early to start the search. I don't remember the drive there or pulling up to the house but I will never forget walking inside the front door. My heart lifted and sank at the same time. This was our home. This was the one. Unfortunately, we weren't ready to purchase a home. As I took the tour, each room was prettier than the last. I already knew where several pieces of our furniture would fit and had a laundry list of items we'd need to buy. The realtor politely asked, "Do you know what you want? What did you have in mind?" And I just reached out my arms and said "This."

This was our dream home. So we made it work. And it has been our dream home for 17 glorious months.

When Michael told me he'd received the job in Dallas, my heart once again lifted and sank. New place, new friends, new shopping (!!!). But at the cost of moving away from old friends, old jobs, old stomping grounds, and our home.

The yard has seen dead sod, green grass, a tree planted on our 1-year anniversary, and most recently, a for sale sign. It was supposed to see so much more.

I wondered if it was going to be hard for us to leave our home. The home where we spent many nights staying up late discussing which bedroom would be the nursery one day, which paint color needed to go, which tree would be planted next...

Then Michael left. And our home became a house--a house that's keeping me away from my husband. In an instant, my dream home became an enormous burden. We are set to close June 12 and that day could not come soon enough. Every time I kiss Michael goodbye I silently curse the wooden floors we're standing on--the same floors that made me giddy not long ago.

Isn't it strange how perceptions change? I love (to make fun of) cheesy statements. But whoever coined the phrase, "Home is where the heart is" knew what was going on because this house hasn't been a home for a month. And boy am I ready to come home.

1 comment:

Leslie said...

Fabulous post. I know exactly what you mean.


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