YES!

So I ordered an iphone last week and it came in yesterday. It is amazing, it is fabulous, it gives me more cool points than I will ever deserve... etc, etc.

I did not do anything last night except play with my new toy and randomly shout out, "This is SO cool" to no one in particular. Michael was polite enough to answer the first 15 times and then he just ignored me.

But! My main reason for writing is to tell you about a free application I downloaded on the phone, which you can also download on i-tunes. It's called "Pandora" and is basically a radio station without commercials. Not only that, you can type in an artist you like and it will play music from that genre. About 30 minutes ago I typed in my second favorite Michael--Michael Jackson--and have been mesmerized ever since. I immediately reminisced to the days where I made mixed tapes, although I could never DREAM of putting one together that was this good. I'm pretty sure most will read the following and think, "eh, it's ok..." But for ME, it is about the greatest mix of music I've ever heard. Please, allow me to share:

Michael Jackson -- Billie Jean
The Police -- Every Breath You Take
Justin Timberlake -- Rock Your Body
Stevie Wonder -- Superstition
George Michael -- Faith
Jackson 5 --ABC
Prince -- Little Red Corvette (Until now I always thought he was singing "Li-ving Collect," meaning he was a cheap-ass and always called his mom Collect from a payphone. I was wrong.)

So you tell me. How amazing is that playlist? I can barely contain myself to hear what the next song will be.

........

Ok, it's been a few minutes. We can now add Lionel Richie's "All Night Long" to the playlist.

Unfortunately, I do have some awkward news. You can click on a button that tells you why it picked this song for the playlist. I expected it to say, "Because YOU, my friend, have amazing taste" but surprisingly enough, it said:

"We're playing this track because it features extensive vamping, minor key tonality, an agressive male vocalist and prominent synth drums."

That kind of made me feel a little sick inside. Now I'm feeling a little sheepish for what I consider "great" music. Prominent synth drums? Aggressive male vocalist? Are we serious here?!

I'm Not In College Anymore...

Emily and Jake came to Tulsa this weekend! I knew it was going to be 2 nights of staying up late so I was a wee bit nervous, but we had a wonderful time.

Friday night we met up at Kreston's house, had a few drinks and headed to In the Raw for sushi. Afterwards we walked across the street to Brookside bar. Kait and Steve rode with us and we had a nice laugh when we left the bar. I unlocked the doors and as we got in all four of us either sighed with relief or groaned from back aches, knee aches, etc. Conclusion: We. Are. Old.

Saturday morning Michael went to a Juvenile Diabetes Fun Walk (a grandiose 1.5 mile walk around a neighborhood) and the rest of us ate at BBD. Afterwards the girls took a tour of the Snider and Haynes residences as well as a nice walk around Utica Square.

And then I experienced my very first TU tailgate (yes, that is sad). We set up around 3p (TU's official tailgate area is amazing!) and spent the rest of the evening under our tent, cheering on the Golden Hurricane (it's so fun to cheer for a team that's actually good)! Around 7:30 we cleaned up, had dinner at El Guapo and walked across the street to McNellies.

A very fun weekend indeed. I spent most of Sunday in bed, lamenting my old age and rickedy bones. Went to the grocery store to pick up some food for the week and dessert for our small group last night. Got a sudden burst of energy around 10:30p and Michael grumbled about what a bear I would be in the morning due to lack of sleep (he was right).

I didn't take one picture this weekend. Others did so I'll post them when I get them.

In other news, Jeremiah (my fish) tried to commit suicide this morning. I was cleaning his bowl and he dived to his death in the sink. I kept trying to throw him back in the bowl but he would not have it. Eventually I was able to grab the little guy and place him in his glass bowl of emotion and he calmed down. What is it with my pets? Jeremiah wants to die, and Thumbs wants to explore the great outdoors. Is this a sign that kids are not for me? I'm not sure I can handle my 5-year-old packing his/her bags and leaving me for greener pastures.

I have bangs now. I didn't have much choice, the straightener had done a number on them so I requested them from the stylist (she does a better job cutting them than the straightener--no surprise there). My right arm is getting strong from constantly pushing them to the side and I'm sure I look like I have some weird disorder with the way I keep shaking my head to get them out of my eyes when the right arm is already in use...as in right now. The best thing about them? They cover my wrinkle between my eyes. So I finally found the answer and it is not botox. Needles might be the creepiest things ever so good riddance to them.

I'm out.

Diet Diary

September 24, 2008
Day 3

Dear Diet Diary,
So far the week has gone pretty well. Right now I am enjoying a creamy milk chocolate Slim-Fast. Actually, it's the Wal-Mart brand, so it boldly states, "Compare to Slim-Fast" on the can. It's not very creamy and I'm not sure it really makes me think of chocolate, but who's complaining. Afer I finish the drink, I will have 30% of my daily molybdenum!

I had a great idea the other day. I've tried Diet Coke, Coke Zero, etc., and none of them compared to my first true love: regular Coke. For most of my life, I've had an issue with Dr. Pepper. I've always associated it with ignorance, thanks to "THOSE girls" in junior high who made my life a living hell. Yep, they all drank Dr. Pepper. Anyway, I've never acquired a taste for it. That being said, I recently thought to myself, "Since I don't really know the taste of the REAL thing, maybe the diet version won't taste terrible?!" And do you know what, diary? I was RIGHT! So I'm getting my caffeine fix without 140 empty calories.

I'm quite surprised at how good some of the boxed dinners are. Not that I don't crave a burger every once in awhile, but I still feel full afterwards and I don't spend the entire day thinking about food.

I had a bad night last night. I really wanted a regular Coke. I'd told Michael to not let me falter so he refused to let me have one. I begged, I pleaded, I did awful things (e.g., called his phone and left a 3 minute message--we are not fans of long messages), but he would not let down. He finally, FINALLY opened a coke and let me have a few sips. It was glorious. I figure if you can't splurge every once in awhile, you'll just go crazy.

I walked/ran last night around the neighborhood a few times. Is it bad that I listened to Kate Perry's, "I Kissed a Girl" 3 times? I'm not really into that kind of action but it has an amazing beat. I also found Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" pretty inspiring as I rounded the corner and headed for home.

Sincerely,
Meredith Leigh Besancon Haynes

(Editor's note: While most of the above statements are true--ok, all of them are true--this was not to be taken seriously. Thanks, and happy eating to you all.)

UPDATE: Many thanks to all who have posted or emailed and told me not to do this. I'm not trying to lose 20 pounds, I'm just trying to fit in my pants, which are starting to look mildly inappropriate! So do not fear, sending "get help" brochures is unnecessary. I just want to wear the clothes in my closet (actually, there is nothing I would love more than a shopping spree at the mall but it kind of ruins the excitement when you realize why you're having to buy all new clothes).

Case Of The Mondays

Ugh.

You know it's bad when you think, "It's been one of those days" and it's 8:30 am. What's worse is I said the same thing last night. I will share these tales with you so you can smile and think to yourself, "Thank God my life is so much better than hers." But first, a brief recap:

2 weeks ago: Karen and Myers came to visit. Had a blast spending time with them!
Last weekend: Drove to Fort Smith to celebrate Michael's bday with my parents. We realized it'd been forever since we'd visited the Fort and it was a lovely weekend as well!
This past weekend: Drove to Coppell for Michael's birthday celebration 3.0. I hate to brag, but what used to cost us $100 to drive to/from Coppell now costs $32. And we hugged the environment the entire time. All are happy!

Ok, so back to why your life is better than mine. Michael and I decided several months ago that we would buy 2 lottery tickets each time the jackpot went over $100 million. On Friday it was at a grand total of $154 million so I bought our tickets at the gas station. I was ridiculously embarrassed so I asked as quietly as possible, "May I please have 2 lottery tickets?" Of course the person couldn't hear me so they yelled, "You want WHAT? Lottery tickets?! OK!!!" I paid my $2, took my 2 tickets, and ran out of there. On our drive home yesterday, Michael and I discussed how we'd spend our newfound millions and it was quite a treat. Got home, high-fived Thumbs, unloaded the car, and checked the lottery website to see where we needed to go to collect our billions. We had 1 number correct (out of 6). Not that I really expected to win, but I'd be lying if I said my shoulders didn't slump just a smidge. Goodbye deserted island, hello many years of house payments.

I decided to go the grocery store to buy some lunch meat and diet foods. Remember the guy who told me my hair looked green? The other day he told me to turn to the side and mentioned how I used to be "this big" (arm gesture) and was now "this big" (larger arm gesture). I was horrified and vowed to never eat cheese again. Sidenote: Is it me or was that highly inappropriate? So I drive to Wal-Mart, park the car and head to the carts. There are 2 left. 2! I am about 3 feet away from the second cart (a young couple has claimed the first), when the lady picks up the trash in her cart and... wait for it... puts it in my cart. My mouth drops and I look down at my body to verify that I did indeed leave my cloak of invisibility at home. Yes, I am clearly standing here next to my cart that is now filled with trash. I quietly shake my head and remove said trash. Strike 1.

I head to the "tasteless aisle" (read: not fried) to pick up some items. Fill my cart and head to the check-out. There are approximately 5 people working in the entire store so the lines are extremely long. I manage to pick the worst. Of course. Strike 2.

15 minutes later (no joke), I am at the front of the line, figuring out how I can protect myself if someone tries to kidnap me in the parking lot since it is now dark outside. She finishes ringing up the groceries and I reach into my purse. And guess what is NOT there? Oh yes, my wallet. I look in every pouch, zipper, etc., and then in a very calm, relaxed voice let the girl know, "Holy shit I left my wallet at home!!!!" (Sudden flashback to me pulling my stupid lottery tickets out of my wallet and leaving the ridiculous wallet on the counter.) STRIKE 3!!! I immediately call my husband and tell him to get here ASAP. I am absolutely mortified. She suspends my order and tells me to wait in the customer service line, which is in front of everyone. I might as well have placed a scarlet I on my shirt (I = Idiot). Michael arrives and we wait another 15 minutes while a man who recently separated from his wife returns his portion of the claimed goods. It was quite tragic. After he left, the lady checked us out and told us to always stay together. Weird.

So that was yesterday. This morning I woke up with a horrendously miserably awful headache so I told Michael to go ahead and drive to work without me and I'd go in an hour late. When I woke up the second time I remembered I was supposed to go to a conference today (not mandatory but I'd asked for a ticket) so I quickly got ready and hopped in the car. As I was leaving, I clicked the garage door opener and nothing happened. I clicked it approx 54 more times before I realized I might need to move to plan B. I walked to the garage and pushed the opener by the door. The garage door did a little jig and stopped. I pushed it again, saw the same jig, and then nothing. I called Michael again (poor Michael) and had him walk me through how to manually close a garage door. We hung up, but not before I said, "I guess I'll just stay home from work and take a vacation day!" (Whimper, pout, etc. etc.) I finally, FINALLY got the door to close. As I drove to work I noticed the traffic was terrible and then figured out it was for the conference that I was supposed to be at, which had already started. When I finally reached the church, it was 8:30a (conference started at 8a).

So there you have it. 2 fabulous days. And to throw one more thing out there, I just had my mid-morning snack and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. Hooray for diets.

Birthdays Rule

I have been waiting for this day for 4 long months. It is no secret that I am the older woman in our relationship, which is fine. But I do love it when he finally joins me in years. That being said...

HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!!!

As luck would have it, Michael's birthday is right in the middle of close at work. He went in a tad early this morning and I will not see him until late tonight. What a ridiculous birthday! We figured this out last week so we celebrated his birthday on Thursday evening. I told him I would happily take him to any restaurant he wanted and I would foot the bill (oh how I LOVE being married). After some consideration, he decided on hot wings. I was staring at his mouth, willing the words, "Polo Grill" or "Melting Pot" to tumble out, but no, he wanted hot wings. If it weren't his birthday, I would have stamped my foot like a child. Instead I put on the brightest smile I could muster and said, "What a great idea! Sounds delicious!" So after opening his presents, we went to "Wings to Go" and did exactly that... Ate some hot wings, chugged some brewskies, and enjoyed each other's (and ESPN's) company.

A birthday isn't fun without some slightly embarrassing/mostly adorable nostalgic memories, right? I thought so too!

I love you, Michael! Can't wait to celebrate 50 more September 15's with you!


If this isn't the best impression of "Blue Steel," I don't know what is...

9.11

September 11, 2001
I was a sophomore at TU, rooming with Summer in Suite B in the Delta Gamma house. I vaguely remember Kaitlin waking us up to tell us something big was going on. I went back to sleep. I woke up again to my boyfriend's phone call asking if I'd seen the footage. I'd already forgotten what Kait had said 30 minutes earlier. So when people ask me, "Do you remember where you were when it happened?" I do--I was asleep. It's terrible to realize that sleep was my initial reaction. I'm sure I'd stayed up too late the night before and went to bed thinking, "How can I get out of going to my morning class?" What do you know, the class was cancelled and I got my wish.

I'm portraying myself as a terrible person and I don't think I was, but I was definitely selfish. I think selfishness is a trait that people either have or don't have, and the ones that have it must learn how to control it. When I was a sophomore in college, I didn't know how to control it.

My 20th Century Art class was not cancelled and I grudgingly walked to class. I cursed the professor's selfishness for still meeting with all that had happened that day. I was such a saint! I took my usual seat and spent 75 minutes watching architecture of the Twin Towers. I saw pictures of the tower construction, views of the skyline, blue prints, etc. The screen was flooded with steal beams, hard workers, and a beautiful vision of 2 structures that touched the heavens (or at least the clouds). I remember seeing the proud faces and wondering what those people thought the day they completed the buildings. Who could ever imagine that a tragedy so extraordinary and so blatantly evil would demolish the buildings as well as so many families.

I'm sure I talked to my parents that day. I know I was nervous because my brother was in Chicago and I had no idea if the attacks would continue or where they might hit next. I remember not being able to grasp what the enemy did to our families, what they did to New York, and what they did to Americans in general. It took me the entire day before I was finally, FINALLY able to open my eyes and realize what just happened. And by that point, most people had already gone to bed.

September 11, 2008
I was woken up again this morning, but it was by my husband and not my suitemate. This time I did not go back to sleep. We drove to work and commented on the rude drivers that passed us by. We talked about politics, the election, and our expectations of work today. We briefly mentioned 9.11 but I still find it a little difficult to talk about.

I don't mind flying anymore. I don't anxiously watch every passenger to see if he or she has the capability of harming all of us on the plane. I don't want to be fighting anymore. I know there was a point that I did, but I'm tired of it. I have never been one to say "Don't look back, only look forward" but sometimes I think in order to move forward, you have to be willing to change. There's that word--CHANGE.

As I was getting ready this morning I was thinking about how I've changed in the past 7 years (see--there's that selfishness again). I've grown up. I've matured. I've learned enough about politics to think for myself and not recite what I've heard on the news. I have a library card now. I actually make a point to drive somewhere so I can check out books and learn, rather than spend my day thinking about how I can skip it.

I know the victim's families are having a terrible morning while I sit here typing this post. I hope they know that we are hurting for them also.

I hope if something this tragic ever happens again, I will not go back to bed. But more than that, I hope I never have to decide.

Reason 264 I Do Not Like Fantasy Football

I do not understand Fantasy Football. A few weeks ago Michael spent 6 hours with friends and picked his team. I recently learned you can switch/trade players throughout the competition. Why would you spend 6 hours picking your players if your intent was to discard some? Whatever happened to loyalty, the word I thought was synonomous with football? And SPEAKING of loyalty, I was so confused yesterday...

Sidenote 1: Michael is a HUGE Cowboys fan.
Sidenote 2: I do not know football jargon. If something below is worded funny, it is not intentional (especially if it is Michael who is saying it).

(Scene: Sunday evening; Michael and Meredith in the living room, curled up on the couch watching the Cowboys...)

Michael: I think the Cowboys are going to get a touchdown. Come on Romo... Come on... Dangit Romo!! Nooo!

Meredith: It's ok, they moved forward, Cowboys will score on the next play!

Michael: No, they needed to score with Romo. If they push forward I don't get credit for it. Stupid Romo.

Meredith: (Confused face)

Thumbs: (Confused face)

Announcer: Toooouchdown for the Cowboys!!!

Meredith & Thumbs: Wooohooo!!!

Michael: Damnit!!!

(End of scene. Michael appears frustrated, Meredith throws her hands in the air and leaves to find a good book...)

I never thought I would see the day when Michael would curse the Cowboys for scoring. It was hard enough to learn the rules of football but Fantasy Football is a whole other world.

And I am drawing the line.

Trench Coats--So Hot Right Now

Do you have a "most favorite" time of day? Are there several? On any given day, I have 3 favorite moments:

1. Picking up Michael from work
2. Opening my one coke of the day (I'm not kidding, fireworks go off in my head when I decide "it is time")
3. 10-15 minutes before I go to sleep

To keep this post from being corny (most favorite #1) or completely boring (most favorite #2), I am going to tell you about #3, and more specifically, last night's #3.

There is something I find SO exciting about the precious minutes before I sleep. Besides the obvious (I adore sleeping), I especially love the feeling of crawling under the covers and knowing for the next 8 hours I don't have to think about anything. And when I wake up, it's a brand new day. Something else, however, happens when it's time to sleep. I get obnoxious. Loud, goofy, and I laugh at anything... It's very awkward. Michael cannot get used to this and still gives me the "What the hell is wrong with you?" look as I contemplate the dumbest things you can imagine. Which brings us to last night.

As he is reading his book, I crawl under the covers and from out of nowhere start singing, "Gooooo Gadget go. Da doot da doot doot, da doot da doot do-oot." He puts his book down, looks at me, and says, "What was that?" So I sing it again. And with his most serious face says, "It doesn't sound like that. It sounds like this: 'doot da doot da doot Inspector Gadget...'"

Yes folks, this really happened.

More importantly, do you know what part I was singing? I can't decide if he's an idiot or if I watched too much television as a child. I start arguing with him, "I KNOW the song starts like that, but I was singing the bridge!" He replies, "Bridge? There's no bridge." So I do the thing I absolutely DESPISE doing--I get out of bed. I walk to the computer, type in "Inspector Gadget theme song" on youtube, and voilà.

I couldn't write an entire entry about Inspector Gadget and leave it at that, so here's the theme song. Please enjoy. Pay special attention when it gets to the 37-second mark and feel free to sing along: "Gooooo Gadget go. Da doot da doot doot, da doot da doot do-oot."



And that, my friends, is why the 10-15 minutes before I go to sleep rounds out my top 3 "most favorite" times of the day. Unfortunately, Michael doesn't agree. :)

A Laborious Weekend

I received hundreds of emails from all of you begging me to start each blog entry with an ode, so I suppose I shall.

...

Just kidding. I do appreciate you being patient with my last one, it's something I love to do on any given day. Moving on. The weekend (for the most part) was great! We had about 20 people over on Sunday night to meet our new Associate Pastor Ryan and his wife Heather. They are a fantastic couple and I'm really excited to have another YOUNG assoc. pastor at our church! The day started off great with church at 9:30 and a quick lunch. Michael and I lounged around the house until 2p and decided it was time to start the master cleaning. It's a little silly to clean your house only to have to clean it again once everyone leaves, but I'm not really the type to brag about my dust collection. So we cleaned, Michael mowed (I checked but did not need to bring out the trusty scissors), and all was fine and dandy. At about 4:45 I drove to the grocery store to pick up some beverages and gave Michael H. a call to make sure everything was good to go. Told him I'd see him at 6p and he said "Oh the party starts at 5:30p." Scccciiiireeet (that is the sound of the DJ scratching the record and everyone becoming silent). I looked at my watch, realized I still had quite a bit to do at the house and then looked down and realized I still had quite a bit to do with myself as well. Neon pink running shorts with a neon blue DG shirt wasn't really party attire.

So I sped to Wal-mart, sprinted through the aisles to find the drinks, and as luck would have it, I picked the cart with the one bad wheel that constantly wanted to go RIGHT instead of straight. Catch up with Target and their awesome carts, you morons! I grabbed the drinks and headed to the check-out lady. And this was where I got a bit peeved. She looked at me and my neon colored ensemble as I sheepishly muttered "hello." No response. The silent treatment. What happened to the bouncing smiley face they show on the commercials? She scanned my items, gave me a look with the beer (judge away, my friend, judge away...) and then pointed to the credit card machine. Afterwards she handed me my receipt and looked away. Never said a word! I thanked her and said goodbye and still she said nothing. Maybe she had a terrible day. Maybe she lost her voice. Or worse yet, maybe she has a man-voice and didn't want me to know about it. Still. How rude.

Manically drove home, threw the drinks in the fridge and ran to the shower. By the time I finished drying and straightening my hair, I was sweating again. Annoying. As I was putting on my necklace and shoes the doorbell rang (Michael was still in the shower) and the first guests arrived. There was a 10-minute lull and then the rest of the guests arrived at the same time. I had a great time once my breathing slowed down! They all stayed for several hours and when all the guests had left, we were beat. Went to sleep pretty early and both woke up Monday morning to horrible allergies. That being said, I stayed in bed the entire day and read 1.5 books. I mumbled a few times that this was a lousy way to spend our day off but had I been completely well I probably would have done the exact same thing. Such an exciting life I lead.

I'm not going to go into the whole political thing because I've determined it is the black hole of death, but I will say the next few months are going to be extremely exciting. I told Michael the other day that I was looking forward to watching the debates with him and he immediately replied, "Oh I'm not going to watch them with you. Not a chance." "What? But you're my husband!" "Exactly! Not a chance!" So I promised him I would keep all comments of "Dear God you're ancient!" and "Barack you're my boy!" to myself. My only compromise is that I can roll my eyes occasionally (which he will only see if he chooses to see it). I'll let you know how it goes.

Karen and Myers are staying with us this weekend! I am counting on us both being 100% better so we're not sneezing all over our company. I haven't seen them in awhile and I'm really looking forward to it!

Loving the new Prius. I wanted to name it so we put our heads together and decided on "Prius." Aren't you glad my job is to be creative each and every day? Regardless, it's great to drive and I'm already looking forward to the day in the distant future when I fill it up with gas and discover the mpg (glooorious math)! The result might just call for another ode.