In case you missed it, last month we were blessed with a Free Crappy Portrait, which still cracks me up on a daily basis (it's on my desktop at work and is currently my Facebook profile pic). Since I've had some super serious posts lately, we decided to have a bit o' fun with this year's anniversary post.
We present to you our own crappy portraits. I wrote all over mine so you'll have to click on the picture to read everything. Michael wrote commentary below his picture because he was afraid you wouldn't be able to read his handwriting.
I wish I could say we drew these when we were four, but no. The following pictures were drawn by two relatively intelligent (I think?) 29-year-olds using a box of 24 crayons. Perhaps we're better off calling it abstract?
The following was written by Michael:
This is a bouquet of your favorite thiiiiiiiiings. (It works better if you sing it a la Sound of Music.)
Let's start with the obvious. This is a celery stalk that has sprouted tentacles. Also, apparently everything you like is black or gray. Glad we splurged on the 24 pack of crayons. I probably could have done a better job with an old piece of charcoal from the grill.
Moving on, from left to right...
That is not a one-eyed baby seal with a horn, it's your camera! I'm so happy you found photography because you seem to enjoy it so much.
A calculator because you love math you big dork. You would find this specific calculator very frustrating because it only has number keys.
Your Prius! Amazingly enough the tires aren't round or the same size and you still get 40+ mpg. It's self conscious about its nose so don't bring it up.
The Mac. This is the only thing I was able to reference while drawing, and it's still awful.
Cheese! ...or the moon! Take your pick.
Hand bags. Though it's plain, this was about the most accurate representation of the lot. I was going to add a set of heels, but I knew that was pushing my luck.
And finally...Thumbs! Apparently she has a rash and is closer in relation to bovine than feline, so that would explain her size. I believe I was still able to accurately represent her disdain for me as she appears to be flashing the skank eye.
No manatees or ostriches were harmed in the making of this "masterpiece o' poo." (<-- Before & After, like Wheel of Fortune!)
If it's the thought that counts, I love you so much. If not, you shouldn't have married a left handed guy with the artistic ability of a three-year-old with two broken arms.