Gah, I'm so frustrated right now.
It's been entirely too long since I've written a meaningful post. And I wish I could say today was the big day but it's just not. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm just not that into the blog right now.
Let me back up. My new job? I love it. I really do. However--it takes 150% of my energy. When I leave each day, I am physically and mentally exhausted. The drive home is a blur and as soon as I walk in the door I just want to put on my pajamas and hop into bed. I am about to say something that I know will make many of you vehemently shake your heads and disagree, but please understand I'm only referring to MYSELF and not anyone else. I don't believe you (ok, I) can be exceptional at both work life and personal life. You have to choose one. I'm not saying you can't be good or even very good--but you can't be great at both. Right now I have to focus 93% of my efforts towards work, which means I come home and poor Michael is stuck with the leftovers. I remember getting so frustrated when I lived in the sorority house because girls (including myself) would use up all of their happiness with boyfriends/classes/etc. When they would get back to the house, the rest of us were greeted with a negative Nancy (or Debbie Downer--your choice) and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Nobody likes the leftovers and I'm afraid Michael's been stuck with mine for about 3 weeks.
I was mulling over my dilemma this afternoon at work. And it made me feel crappy. As I approached a co-worker's desk, she exclaimed, "Wow--I love your sweater!" Just as I felt my spirits start to lift she continued by saying, "I just love huge, cozy grandpa sweaters." I blinked a few times, shook my head in agreement (what can you do?) and looked down at my newly named grandpa sweater. Only problem? Not really supposed to be a grandpa sweater. Sigh. Such is life.
So I'm going to end this before I make this the most depressing post ever. I plan on writing about my fabulous weekend in Tulsa (waiting for some pictures) so please don't think that my life sucks right now. It doesn't. I just need to find that perfect balance so no one (especially my husband) has to deal with my leftovers. I'd rather throw them in the garbage where they belong.
10 comments:
I am just glad to know your still alive :-). I totally get trying to get everything balanced! Hang in there friend!!!!
So sorry to hear you're exhausted! I apologize in advance for the unsolicited advice from the peanut gallery, but...as someone who has been dragging myself to stressful, mentally exhausting jobs for the past 4.5 years, I must say that I actually keep the balance by not just coming home every night and putting on the pjs (although that's the urge I get every day at 5pm). Take two nights per week and make yourself go out and do just one fun thing - happy hour, dinner out with Michael, walk around and shop, meet up with a friend for coffee or gelato, etc. Yes, it costs $, but that's what a paycheck is for right? :) Then you feel like you're actually living during the week. It's energizing. If the week is designated as an exhausting, non-fun time, that's what it will be. I look forward to the fun evening activity all day, and don't feel bad about couching it on other nights. I felt like I shouldn't dread 5/7 of my week, so this has been a good solution. Yoga class also works wonders! Okay I'm done, promise :)
Oh and I meant two weeknights of doing at least one little fun thing. Weekends are a total funfest!
I completely agree; it is so difficult to be 100% in every area of life, especially when working a full-time job that saps your energy. Hopefully with a little more time in the job you will find your groove and things will improve a bit. Until then, Cari's advice sounds like a good idea!
And for the record, no compliment should EVER include the word "Grandpa." Ever.
A Grandpa sweater?! As if, I bet it was really cute! I have a feeling that as you get in the swing of things with the new job, you won't feel as exhausted at the end of the day. But, I do think it's cyclical- some days, weeks, months you give more than 50% to work and less at home, while at other times it's the opposite. Hang in there- you'll get it figured out! (this is advice I'll probably be taking myself in a few weeks)...Cari's idea sounds fantastic to me in the meantime :)
The time will come when your body and mind and emotions adjust to the new work and drive schedule. When your weekends slow down, you may find that your week becomes more manageable as well. I totally agree with Cari that a weekly night out with Michael, if only for drinks, could work wonders.
I have missed your blogging!! Sorry to hear things are crazy in your life right now. That sucks :( I could say lots of things like it will (probably) get better, but if you're like me, then when you complain about something, you just want people to nod their head in agreement and to say "that sucks" (even if they don't think it does or even if they don't really care) :)
Something else that sucks? People who give compliments and then totally ruin it with the phrase "grandpa sweater" Seriously?!
chin up, mere-bear. things always end up sunny :)
I really liked your sweater, and I did not find it geriatric in the least! I actually have a real grandpa sweater at my desk--feel free to stop by and look at it! :)
I totally know how you feel, but I promise it'll get better!
I read somewhere at some point that a woman has to pick her top 2 priority things out of the following 5 categories:
Good Wife/ Mother
Good Worker
Good Physical/health
Good Cook
Clean/ Organized house/life
BECAUSE you CANNOT physically and mentally spread yourself thin enough to do all of these things well all of the time. So pick 2 that you will devote your "all" to and just be okay with the others slipping a little bit. :)
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