I've been very frustrated with my attitude lately. I was such a trooper with the twins. Unless my memory fails me, I rarely complained and spent the majority of my time thankful and happy. And while I'm every bit as thankful this time around, I have probably complained to every person in a 50-mile radius. When people ask how I'm feeling I reply, "Tired." When I receive sympathy stares in public I nod my head in agreement. My temper is short. My sensitivity is off the charts (while I haven't cried much, I've come very close a number of times). And it takes very, very little for me to feel completely worn out and defeated.
The other day I gave myself a much needed pep talk because I can't stand ungrateful pregnant women. I remember what it was like when I was on the other side and every time I heard a pregnant lady complain about something I wanted to say, "I would do anything to be in your shoes." I think I actually said it to a few of them.
So this is me putting myself out there with the hope I'll be more accountable for my words and attitude. Because, truly, I am so excited about meeting sweet Holland. Carrying her the last nine months has been incredible. I'm absolutely certain I will miss the kicks and punches and hiccups and the realization that right now is the safest she will ever be.
|Sweet face! 34 weeks - measuring 5 lbs 10 oz|
As far as the pregnancy goes, everything is right on track. I've gained 31 lbs, blood pressure is low, and I'm still carrying pretty high. The doctor checked me for the first time last week (36 weeks) and there is nothing going on. I think Holland has actually moved up instead of down so we may have a directionally challenged infant on our hands. I did flunk the first gestational diabetes test last month and said "no thanks" to taking the second so I've been watching my sugar intake... for the most part.
The negative to all of this is we've definitely given in to things we'd normally not allow. When the kids come in our room at 6 am we lift up the covers and let them crawl in for a morning cuddle. Last weekend Sloane found a necklace she loved and I bought that overpriced accessory without giving it a second thought. Popcorn at the movies? Sure! Even though we all know you'll eat 10 kernels before you're done. I don't think we've consciously done any of this but Michael and I had a good laugh after realizing how soft we've gotten over the last few weeks.
|Lego Batman movie - they sat like this the entire time!|
We don't have much left to do before the big day! I haven't packed a hospital bag but I've started laying out a few things I want to bring. My free pump arrived last week (Thanks, Obama!) and we re-added diapers to our Amazon monthly shipment. Her armoire is now filled with adorable pajamas and outfits thanks to generous friends and family. We took a hospital tour last week so we know where to go bright and early on her birth day.
When we hit the one month countdown I took the kids to the store and let them pick out some fun paper so we could make a paper chain. Each morning they take turns removing a link and then we talk about how many days are left before they get to meet their little sister. Their excitement is contagious and I can't wait for the day they get to meet her.
Only a few doctors appointments left! My maternity clothes are all getting dangerously snug. Grandparents are making preparations for who will watch the kids while we're at the hospital. I'm no longer praying for the pregnancy and am instead praying for a healthy delivery and the days after.
So now we hurry up and wait! Did I mention we only have 16 days...? ;)
|32 weeks w/ Jude & Sloane vs. 36.5 weeks with Holland!|