As I've mentioned at least two dozen times, October 1 was the goal we set for ourselves from the beginning. I went to sleep on Sunday night with the biggest grin on my face and woke up Monday morning a little weepy (in a good way). There is nothing unusual about the weepiness--these tear ducts have been in overdrive lately.
Two instances that happened this past week:
1. Michael raised his voice at Thumbs. Did Thumbs deserve it? Yes. Did I cry for 30 minutes and ask Michael if he wanted to give Thumbs away? Yes.
2. Michael ate the last cupcake. The LAST cupcake. Did he ask me twice if I wanted to eat it? Yes. Did I tell him both times that he could have it? Yes. (Did I think he was kidding both times because, holy cow, it was the LAST CUPCAKE? Yes.)
Now that you understand the emotional state I'm currently in, let's move on. While we said, "Make it to October 1," the Besancon bunch had Miss Adelyn Marie on October 2 and as my parents were driving up to Chicago I might have muttered, "Change of plans, God. Let's make it until October 8 when my parents are no longer in Chicago. Thaaaanks."
Before we get to the doctor's appointment, I have to give Michael a big pat on the back (even if he ate the last cupcake) for last weekend. I'm in a Moms of Multiples group and we sponsor a huge consignment sale in the fall. The public sale happens Saturday morning but if you volunteer you're able to shop Friday night. We both decided if I volunteered at this stage it would probably cause more trouble than help, so Michael volunteered to be a "Security Dad" and patrolled the sale for four hours early Saturday morning. Fortunately for all parties involved, he did not spot anyone trying to steal $3 toddler shoes. We were able to get a few really great items for 75% off and neither of us were trampled by the crazy moms! I'm just sad I didn't get to see him sporting a bright red t-shirt with the words "Security Dad" splashed across the chest. Hot.
Moving on to the babes. These updates might as well be called, "What is Sloane up to this week?" As a brief reminder, she has switched positions every single week for the last few months and the latest was head down but facing my spine. Yesterday? She was sideways. I'd like you all to take a moment and think about two babies in my belly, one of which is sideways. It's just mean. She was also doing the running man throughout the ultrasound so it was (once again) impossible to get any good pictures. Regardless, both babies look great and did well on their biophysical exams. The sonographer measured them but said it wouldn't be as accurate as the perinatologist so not to read into the weights too much. Assuming they're correct, Sloane is now 6 lbs 2 oz and Jude is 5 lbs 8 oz. (Someone gaped at me while I was at the mall yesterday and I wanted to yell, "I'm carrying almost 12 pounds of babies, what have you done today?!" Fortunately, I resisted.)
I'm still doing well and right on track with my stuff so we were sent on our way with a good report.
It's starting to get hard. I'm uncomfortable most of the time and really slow. I run out of breath easily and am so limited in the tasks I can do. It's frustrating for me because I feel so absolutely useless (other than the fact that I'm growing two babies). At the same time, I know what is best for the kids is NOT what is best for me, so I'm keeping my chin up and telling myself that 38 weeks is less than 4 weeks away. I can do it. What's conflicting is how attached I am to having Sloane and Jude a part of me. I can't wait to meet them and I know it's incredibly selfish to want to keep them inside for as long as possible, but those 2:00 am moments when everything is dark and still and I can feel both of them moving around are some of the most precious times I've ever had. After almost 9 months of feeling absolutely ridiculous, I talk to them now without abandon and I feel like I've created a bond with each that is so fiercely personal. I just don't want it to go away. And then I realize if I feel this way having never met them, we're just getting started.
So here's to 3.5 more weeks of absolute selfishness and I promise you right now I won't take a single second of it for granted.
(The quality of this picture is a metaphor for how I'm feeling these days--ha!)