Viva Las Madness

This past weekend I flew to Las Vegas for a good friend's bachelorette party. I have attended several bachelorette parties but this was my first in Sin City. A few highlights of our trip:

1. Upon arrival, Kaitlin and I noticed our hotel was filled with a rather... rough crowd. We both shrugged and decided this was Vegas life, and Vegas life brought all kinds of life. Then we saw signs for UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), which took place at our hotel. Oh... so perhaps THAT was why there were so many angry tattoos to match angry faces. Geesh! Kait and I were not well-versed in this area and we both decided UFC stood for "United Fighting Club." What we found so strange was how many people asked the two of us if we were there for the fight. I looked down at our tattoo-less skin, bleached blonde hair, Banana Republic outfits and accessories, and quizzically shook my head. Not so much.

2. THEHotel (where we stayed) and Mandalay Bay are known for their giant pools and our group enjoyed them both Friday and Saturday. Several of us were married but we quickly noticed that did not stop interested dudes. (Especially the ones who can't quite put their arms down by their sides because they are "so strong." You look stupid, just put your arms down.) All of us were wearing our wedding rings so I was baffled each time we were approached. We were always polite but mentioned within the first 2 sentences that we were married and then waited for the silent countdown. In 5...4...3... aaand he's out. We were actually quite relieved that no one even tried to continue the conversation.

3. If you've been over to our house you've seen the bamboo photo that hangs above our fireplace (souvenir from our honeymoon in Hawaii). It was photographed by Peter Lik and we are both huge fans. We visited his gallery in La Jolla last summer and I knew he had three galleries in Vegas. Being the Peter Lik groupie that I am, I was somehow able to limit myself to just one gallery but was so glad I visited.

4. Michael Irvin was on our plane ride home! Here's the deal, I was so proud of myself because I actually knew who Michael Irvin was, although I didn't recognize him (make sense?). The guy next to us said, "I think that's Michael Irvin!" and I immediately looked up. There is no way I would have recognized him by myself but it was quite obvious this guy was not your average Joe. (How many middle-aged men do you know who wear a white t-shirt and casual shorts but carry around a Louis Vuitton satchel?) We boarded the plane and I couldn't resist so I smiled politely and said hello. He smiled and said, "Hey, how's it going?" I started to blurt out, "My husband's a huge fan!" but thought that might sound a little pathetic.

5. And of course the best for last. Saturday night we had dinner at Tao and then made our way to their club. It was several levels and we began the evening on the roof. There were tons of tables but we quickly learned they were for bottle service customers only. At first I thought, "Hey, I like alcohol, let's order a bottle of the good stuff!" Then I looked at the menu and saw a bottle of Grey Goose was $675. A bottle that costs $40 at the liquor store was just a wee bit pricier at the club. And so I passed. A few members of our group went downstairs due to the heat and met a few guys who invited the entire group to join them at their VIP table. We were tired of standing so the idea sounded fantastic. We sat down and noticed two magnum bottles of Grey Goose. Of course I started calculating in my head what that would cost (had to guess since these were larger than the $675 bottle on the menu). I was shocked. What do these guys DO? And would they be interested in hiring a 27-year-old female who lived in Dallas to do the same? We had a great time and as the night wore on and inhibitions lessened, we found out exactly what they did. Or in this case, it only mattered what the 6'9" quiet guy in the corner with the 1-foot mohawk did. His name was Chris. But his acting name was Mr. Chris. Don't know who I'm referring to? That's good, because he's not just any actor, he is (or was) a pretty famous porn star.

....

I couldn't stop laughing. It was so... so Vegas. Kait and I left around 2a and headed back to the hotel but the rest of the group stayed for another bottle (another bottle)!! As we walked out of the club we saw all sorts of crazy things and I told Kait I felt like we should go to church. Kait simply replied, "They don't call it Sin City for nothing!"

Amen, sister.