Benjamin Moore's Wedgew00d Gr@y

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Apologies in advance for a post that's going to be all over the place...

My parents visited this weekend and brought several of our houseplants and all of my winter clothes, none of which made the original move. In such a short time I completely forgot about my winter clothes and now must retract an earlier proclamation of "I was able to fit ALL of my clothes in our closet!" Looks like the extra bedroom's closet will be utilized after all. It was so great to see mom and pops and even greater that they were able to stay a few days! Living in Tulsa was both good and bad when it came to visits from my parents. Visits were somewhat often (good) but were always very short (bad) due to the short drive from Tulsa to Fort Smith. Now that it's a 4.5 hour drive and both are retired (wahoo!), they can come for a few days at a time. I love it! It would have been a sad goodbye but we knew we'd be seeing each other again in Florida for an entire week starting this Friday! I am so excited to be able to go back to Sanibel for our annual vacation. It's been several years and I'm ready to claim my pool chair, find some shells, and attempt (for the 456th time) to master the hammock. You say it's not hard? It is HARD.

In other news, I'm still funemployed (thank you, dad, for giving me a new term for my present status). Friday marked 3 weeks of being jobless and it's starting to get to me. Deep down I knew it would take awhile but there was definitely a small part of me that thought this would be easy. That part became even smaller when I met with one of Dallas' best recruiters and she told me to get a job at a furniture store and enjoy the discount. (Which makes no sense whatsoever--how can I enjoy the discount if my monthly salary will only pay for a picture frame or a candle? Hurumph.)

The first few weeks didn't bother me at all. To be honest, I loved them. I was able to empty all boxes, put everything in its proper spot, and hang all of our artwork (obviously Michael helped with each of these things). I registered my car and got a driver's license. I discovered many parts of Dallas that I'd never seen before (never heard of before). But now? Now I've done all of that and I'm still sitting here on a Monday morning feeling frustrated. I never thought I'd say this, but I really am one of those people that needs to do something. It's what makes me feel successful. It doesn't have to be brilliant, it doesn't have to be difficult, it just has to be something... something to make me feel human. Right now I feel pretty worthless, and that's a terrible feeling.

So what do I do? I decide to paint our master bedroom. Probably not one of my brighter ideas, but hear me out. I adored our last house. Every room, every nook, every part. Except for the master bedroom's paint color. It wasn't awful by any means, I just didn't care for it. For 18 months (would have been longer had we stayed), I dealt with the color because it was there and it worked. I've now run into the same problem with our current house--the master bedroom paint color doesn't bother me but it's the same color as every other room in the house. And this time? I refuse to settle. I think Michael knows this is just something I need to do for myself, to make me feel like I have a (temporary) purpose, so he gave me a hug yesterday and let me drive to Ace Hardware to pick up a color so I could paint our room something beautiful.

I wish this story could continue it's climactic journey, but unfortunately this was my first time to step inside an Ace Hardware with a list in hand. I saw the paint colors and flocked to the rainbow. Found the two I'd been contemplating and was immediately greeted by an employee. I politely pointed to the "Samples for $6" sign and asked for a sample of each. He told me he'd never done sample sizes before and I just kept staring at him. I would not look away. After a ridiculously long pause he said, "Welllll, I guess you want me to go ahead and try?" I smiled and said, "Yes, I'd like that very much." He walked away and I scanned the rest of the store looking for items I would need to paint. I ended up texting Kaitlin and requested a full line-up of materials, so my empowerment movement took a temporary backseat while I scanned each aisle with my iPhone in hand, directing me where to go. Hey, I said I wanted to be successful, I didn't say I had to do it alone.

Employee finished mixing the paint ("It was so easy!") and I held back from telling him that anyone who knew simple fractions could do it. (That just gave me an idea... maybe I could work at Ace Hardware and mix paint samples for people?) I drove home and got to work. And by work I mean I painted two little squares on our wall so we could decide which color we preferred. I didn't realize how nervous the entire process made me. First painting our walls, then deciding which one we liked. I spent the rest of the evening using the famous blue tape and got as far as I could without a ladder (our ceilings are all 10' and I left my go-go gadget arms in Oklahoma).

So I'll keep you posted on our little journey. I'm pleased with it so far and this is a nice little lesson for me. Just because something is done doesn't mean it can't be improved. And don't settle for something because it works, make it something you love. So that's what I'm doing. Paintbrush in one hand, instruction manual/iPhone in the other. Step by step, until it is perfect.

Or until someone hires me.