Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The List That Won't Die

In lieu of a normal post, I thought I'd re-post something from facebook since you don't all subscribe to that black hole of doom. For the past few weeks a list has circulated around the facebook world and it is an unstoppable force. I kept saying, "Psh, I'm not going to do that." And then of course I did. So did my husband. The rules are to write 25 things about yourself and then tag 25 people who are to do the same. Michael and I decided to travel the self-deprecation route. That being said, I think I would like to reinstate the dork vote. I am now HIGHLY convinced Michael is the bigger dork. If you still consider "biggest dork" to be my victory after you've read his 25, something is wrong with you.

(By the way--this weekend was great. Going away party for Adam at Dave & Busters on Friday, dinner/drinks with the newlywed Sniders on Saturday, and our Super Bowl party on Sunday! Busy, busy weekend and we had a blast!)

1. I finally realized I cannot diet. I love bad food too much (Michael claims my favorite food is butter). That being said, I also realize I need to work out regularly.

2. I hate working out.

3. When I was on the homecoming court in high school we were required to wear long white gloves. My mom had to sew elastic into the tops of my gloves so they would stay up. This is no longer a problem.

4. After I've had several adult beverages I become extremely bossy and afraid of nothing. I have danced on stage with a band (twice), danced on a bar (the bartender did not appreciate this), gotten an entire group into a certain club after they were no longer letting people in, and forced 8 girls at Kait's wedding to dance a specific way to Beyonce's, "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it."

5. I still avoid the cracks when I'm walking.

6. I love math. I love how there is ONE right answer and it is so objective. Sometimes I wish life was like that.

7. If I never saw snow/ice/wintry mix again, I would be quite fine.

8. I went on a 37-day camping trip from hell with my family. In that 37 days I believe we showered 8 times. It was the first time I ever heard my parents cuss.

9. My mom put me on a diet at 3 months because I was so fat. Perhaps that's why #1 is now such a struggle for me.

10. I need at least 9 hours of sleep every night. I can't remember the last time I slept that long so I'm always a little sleepy. So no, your story isn't boring, I'm just very tired.

11. I write with my right hand but tend to do everything else left.

12. I chew on my lips. It's disgusting.

13. I've decided I want to write a book. No ideas for a plot though. Please email me at meredith.haynes@gmail.com if you can think of anything. Or if you'd like to pay me to write your memoir, I'd be happy to.

14. I have never had a healthy pet. All have been severely obese and lazy. This includes Jeremiah, my fish at work.

15. My brother convinced me I was adopted and that my parents picked me up at a blue light special at Kmart.

16. When I dance I like to point at people. Ya know, give them credit for being awesome.

17. I am not a fan of "LOL." I love the act, not the acronym.

18. When I am with Michael I laugh harder, smile bigger, hug longer and feel completer. :) I think I'll keep him.

19. I love clothes but am not a huge fan of jewelry. I just don't get it. Regardless, I wear it because I know it "adds" to the outfit (thank you Stacy and Clinton).

20. Lengthwise, my eyes are very short.

21. Don't mention the words "vein" or "give blood" around me or I'm likely to faint. Just typing that made me a bit woozy.

22. In 7th grade I contracted tuberculosis--doctors think I got it from recirculated air on an airplane to NYC. Now I can never give blood because I will always test positive for TB--I think that was God's way of blessing me for having a disease that pretty much became extinct in the 19th century.

23. People say I look and act like my mom. I hope they're being serious because I consider that the best compliment anyone could give me.

24. I took a test in college that told me I was going to die at age 47. I didn't do drugs, didn't smoke, barely drank and was a healthy weight. Because of this, I will be very nervous in the year 2029. If I make it to May 12, 2030, I'm throwing myself a party and you're all invited.

25. I have a fairly long list of places I want to travel. Assuming #24 is true, I better get to it.

1. Merd! Might as well start off with the best, b/c it gets ugly after this.

2. As mentioned in a previous note, I did indeed manage to set my own shirt on fire one 4th of July. The truly sad part of this story was I didn’t realize it until someone pointed out all the holes later in the night.

3. I used to rock a rat tail. It had a little curl in it, but if you pulled it straight down it may have been shoulder length. The bad part, (this is 2 for 2 so far) is that I actually cut it off, and decided I needed to grow it back.

4. When I was little and first learned to ride my bike without training wheels, everything was great until I had to get off. I didn’t know how to stop without falling over so I would ride up to the curb and jump off into the grass…stuntman style.

5. When I first learned to write my complete name and address, I decided it would be a good idea to go practice on the siding of our next door neighbor’s house. I can’t remember, but I really hope I didn’t deny doing it.

6. I eat and write left handed, but I throw right handed. I throw a frisbee in an equally poor manner with both hands.

7. It does not earn me any cool points for recognizing the names Steve Rogers, Matt Murdock, and Hal Jordan.

8. My cool points account is currently in a death spiral for referring to them as cool points.

9. I have big ears as an adult. They have been the exact same size since I was 7. The same fact applies to my feet.

10. I am part of 6% of the population that has an extra bone in each foot. I know this because I had one of them removed and therefore am only half special.

11. I’ve been known to drink and run.

12. My roommates and I earned a spot in the campus crime report for playing egg baseball. Our apartment was on the third floor. The batter was in the parking lot. We bought 4 dozen eggs. Guess what village idiot was the batter?

13. Pretty much anything I said in high school has been remembered and made fun of ever since.

14. I still wear my retainer from my braces days 3-4 times a week. Meredith thinks it’s sexy, especially when I sneeze.

15. One year in college I had a Lord of the Rings poster up next to a Fight Club poster. I’m not even sure what to infer from that.

16. There might be half a dozen songs that I can actually sing along with. There are an additional 6,000 that I know at least one word and will make up the rest. Humming also counts. The best examples are We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel and It’s the End of the World As We Know It by R.E.M.

17. Since I was little I’ve randomly made this strange growling/mooing sound in my sleep. It doesn’t happen every night and it doesn’t always last long, but I scared many folks at sleepovers and on road trips. Our fat cat now contributes as she’ll sleep in positions that somewhat cut off her air supply.

18. For every 50 camera flashes I see, my eyes will be open in 1 of those resultant pictures.

19. I struck out in slow pitch softball…twice…in the same game.

20. I fell asleep in one of our pre-marital counseling sessions. I thought I had gotten away with it until we came in for our last session and he had an upright wooden chair in place of my usual chair.

21. I once walked to McDonald’s after closing time on Halloween and knocked on the door telling them to let me in since I was the owner. I was dressed as Ronald McDonald.

22. I broke my nose freshman year in college so now it whistles sometimes when I have a cold.

23. I am very adventurous in my food selection. I like vanilla and chocolate ice cream. I like cheese pizza. I’m from the south and don’t like gravy.

24. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time & Civilization IV – SAD

25. My list of friends has become much smaller over the time it took to read this list.

So you tell me, who's the bigger dork now?! (If your answer is still me, no need to leave a comment.)


Emily said...

I too am one of the 6% of people who have an extra bone in my feet! Micheals makes me crack up! I read yours on fb but didnt know micheal did it too! love it!

annie moxie said...

merd !omg i forgot how funny you were . love your blog. why can't i 'follow' it?

Haley Nicodemus said...

Shoot - I posted on the wrong one!

Haley Nicodemus said...

Let me correct that - I couldn't get past #3. I CANNOT believe he had a rat tail...and then described it the way he did. I'm not sure if you or Michael is funnier. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when you guys have conversations. He needs to write more posts. You are very funny - but wow - he's hysterical. Kyle keeps saying, "What's so funny?" because I'm laughing outloud. Ronald McDonald - to effing funny!

We definitely have to hang out when we come to Tulsa!


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