Friday, November 20, 2009

Cop: 1 Meredith: 0

Before I'd even visited Michael's hometown I'd heard about the Coppell cops. He'd had a few terrible experiences in high school (one cop did not believe Michael was wearing his contacts and made Michael touch his eye and move the lens--RIDICULOUS), so they've always been on my poop list.

So of course it wouldn't be right for only ONE of us to have a Coppell cop experience. Mine happened on Wednesday. Awesome. Here's the deal, when something (or someone) bothers/annoys me, I am usually pretty polite. But my thoughts are an entirely different story.

SC: Stupid Cop
M: Meredith
Red type: Meredith's thoughts

Meredith is driving to meet Michael for lunch. She's just received a text and grabs her phone. Next thing she knows, flashing lights from a motorcycle cop are directly behind her.

M: Bugger. (This is not exactly what she said.)

SC: (Saunters on over) Hello ma'am. My name is Stupid Cop and I'm part of the Coppell Police Force.

M: (No kidding?)

SC: We actually have speed limits here in Coppell, were you aware of that?

M: (Yes, jackass) Yes sir.

SC: You were going 47 and the speed limit is 35. Did you know that?

M: (Did you know we are both wearing identical black boots over our pants?) I did not realize I was going 47.

SC: Actually, you drove right past me and then you sped up. Did you not see me?

M: (I did not see you because I was staring at my phone.) No sir, I did not see you. (And you were hiding behind a bush so of course I didn't see you. Isn't that the point?)

SC: Was there a reason you were driving so fast? Was there an emergency?

M: (Is lunch considered an emergency? I will always speed for Mexican food. And my husband.) I'm meeting my husband for lunch.

SC: I need to see your license and registration.

M: (I need to see a plate of nachos. And my husband.) I'm new to Texas (bat eyes, bat eyes), I'm not exactly sure what you need to see. Is this all?

SC: Yes, that's correct. (Takes my info and leaves.)

Meredith wonders if she'll get away with a warning since she's new to the great state of Texas. Aaaaand 3 seconds later...

SC: I'm giving you a ticket for going so fast. What year is your Prius?

M: (Ah yes, my Prius. The one that is saving our earth, one happy tree at a time. Does that get me a discount?) 2009

SC: Please sign here.

M: (Please drop dead.)

Meredith signs and cop prints her a copy of the ticket.

SC: Thanks and I hope you have a great day!

M: (Oh, you TOO! And happy Thanksgiving!!!) (No response. At all.)

I need to call and find out how much I owe but I'm too scared. I think if I hide the ticket under my bed it will all go away. Right?

For what it's worth, lunch was still delicious and I couldn't have asked for better company.


The Emerson's said... fun! I love how you couldn't even respond at the end...if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all:-). I hope you weren't too late for lunch:)

Leslie said...

Bugger is right! And you couldn't even follow it up with a margarita since it was lunch (or did you? i hope you did!).

Suzanne said...

I hate douche cops! It always boggles my mind that they act as though they are doing me a favor by giving me a ticket. I'm also convinced that you are never going as fast as they tell you. At least nachos were good ;)

Jax said...

UGH! This sounds just like my interaction week before last. I even tried to talk him out of it. I was like "Come.on. This is the last day of the UW campaign.. and I'm working on it.. and I wasn't speeding THAT badly. Please please please..for charity... don't give me a ticket." He said "sorry. Have to." Thats where I quit speaking b/c anything I said would have gotten me in jail. Don't you wish you were one of those girls who cried? Ugh. I just cant b/c I'm too pissy. And I have a friend trying to get it reduced, so I'm praaaying. The guy goes "Im giving you the cheapest ticket-150." Gee, thanks for the favor. Ugh. haha..

Motorcycle cops are the devil. Sorry you got one, too. And my rant just kinda came out up there. I guess I have some unresolved anger about it still. ;)

Ashley said...

Booooo!! I always have really bad luck with cops and get the biggest assholes, but this guy takes the cake! Well, except maybe for the cop in Missouri, who pulled me over at 11pm, forced me to get out of my car and into his, while his partner held my door shut from the outside, and then when his drug dog moved, he accused me of having drugs in my car.


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