Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'm In A Glass Case Of Emooootion

Lately, the thing to do on Facebook is post pictures from high school days. I have tons of my own but I believe they are all collecting dust in Fort Smith. I haven't looked at them in years so when I do see a picture I am absolutely blown away.

I look so young.

And yes, I was young, but I look so young. This goes back to a post I wrote several months ago. When you haven't experienced things, your face is the definition of innocence. It's what makes growing older so incredible. Each wrinkle, each freckle, each bit of gravity that makes your eyes and your jawline droop, is proof that you have learned something and are still around to talk about it.

How lucky are we?

I hate, I repeat HATE the wrinkle between my eyes. It is past the point of being a "fine line" and is a blatant wrinkle. And unless I can convince the hubs that botox does not, in fact, send you straight to hell, it is permanent. But let me tell you why I have that wrinkle. On the 30th week of every year, the Besancon bunch climbed into some variation of a station wagon, drove to Sanibel Island, FL and spent a week in paradise. The annual vacation was only a week or two before the "S word" (school) started so it was the grand finale to every summer. While I was there I would go to the pool each day and lay out next to my mom. I remember when I was young I would stretch my legs on my lounge chair so my feet would reach the length of her knees. The last time we were there my feet went several inches past her own. I would squint for two, three, four hours straight because it was so bright outside. The sun, that gorgeous Sanibel sun, gave me this wrinkle. And for that I am eternally grateful.

When I look at old pictures I think about the year it was taken. What do I know now that I didn't know then? The other day I was looking at my mom's drivers license and mentioned, "Did you know when this picture was taken I was not married to Michael?" I think she might have murmured a polite, "Oh.. hmmm," but that is how I view my life. It is one long black line interrupted by hash marks every few inches depicting dates and memories. When I see a picture I temporarily place it on that line and look to the left and to the right.

The biggest change I see in myself is my eyes. Isn't that funny? The actual eye never changes, but oh the things you understand when you look into them. I was quite the sheltered child and this is the first year I've ever been told I look my age. I think it's the eyes (ok, perhaps it's the wrinkle too). :)

One day I'll look back on this and think, "Wow, when I wrote that post on March 25, 2009 I had no idea ---- would happen. Incredible." I'm only hoping the "----" is a pleasant experience, but I know there will be variations of both. What I pray is that my eyes will always give me away. There will be times when the only way you'll know what's going on in my life is by finding out for yourself. And I hope these green eyes are always willing to share.


Tootie said...

Your post came in my Google Sanibel Alerts, that's why I'm dropping by. :-)

Sorry that you have to miss Sanibel. Your past family vacations sound great.

As for that wrinkle between your eyes, wait until you are in your 60's then you can really complain. I have one that now looks like the grand canyon. I think I got it for the same reason as you. :-) But like you said, sunshine is always a good thing.

Hope you get to come back to Sanibel soon.

Emily said...

I have the worst wrinkled forehead.. its because I use my face soo much for expressions.... it gives us character.. :)

Melissa McMahan said...

funny post. :) aren't those pictures hilarious though? my main thing i notcie is that my teeth aren't near as white as they used to be...they were like blinding back then...and straighter somehow...hmmm.


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