Which One Is It?

Today's blog topic has been on my mind for a long time, but I never really thought about posting it until recently.  I'm hoping you'll respond, especially if you disagree with me, so I can learn more from the other side.

My parents raised us to be honest kids.  They also raised us to be polite.  And oftentimes, the two don't go hand in hand.  I think there are situations when being honest is absolutely the way to go, but other times I think being polite is the right answer.  I'm beating around the bush, aren't I?

When someone asks for my opinion on something, I (almost) always give them an honest answer.  If a friend tells me they're thinking about cutting their hair and asks if it's a good idea, I am very honest.  However, if someone just purchased a house and asks me if I like it, I could think it's the ugliest home in the world but I will smile and tell them it's beautiful.  The difference between the two is my opinion means absolutely nothing in the second scenario, and I don't think there is any reason to insult someone when there is nothing they can do to change the circumstance.  It's a done deal and they're happy.  In that situation, (to me) being polite is better than being honest.

What do you think?

Another instance is when someone doesn't ask for my opinion at all.  When that is the case, I absolutely don't think it's necessary to give my opinion unless it's positive.  If someone tells me they're naming their baby Mildred Zambonee, it's not my place to tell them I hate that name.  Even if I do. They didn't ask, therefore I don't need to blurt out my true feelings.  (Sidenote: This example is completely made up.  My friends' kiddos truly have the BEST names.  However, many of them have started keeping the name a secret because they've received such negative feedback, even when they didn't ask for it.)

I guess my point is, if you're going to hurt someone's feelings by giving your opinion on something that can't be changed, why do it?  Does this mean I have less integrity or can't be trusted?  I hope not. 

I've had my feelings hurt by people who were brutally honest when I just wish they'd smiled politely because whatever it was, I couldn't change it.  Or in other cases, I wish they hadn't said anything at all because I never asked. 

Let me also point out that I haven't always been like this and I still struggle with it.  If I've known you for more than five minutes, I've hurt your feelings by something I've said.  You've either told me you were hurt or I've seen it in your eyes as soon as I said the statement.  Over the last few years I've become more of the person I described above because I didn't like the opinionated person I'd always been (and still can be).  And now that I make a true effort to think before I speak, I notice how hurtful it can be when I'm on the receiving end.
 
So my question to you is this--Am I being ridiculous?  Is what I consider being polite actually just a lie?  If you ask my opinion on something you cannot change, do you really want it?

And,  I am asking for your opinion and I can change what I'm doing, so I want you to be honest.  :)   (If you don't feel comfortable commenting, send me an email!) 

Sneak Peek

Here is what I should be writing about:

1.  San Francisco - Day 4
2.  San Francisco - Day 5
3.  Pictures (can't write about these, but I can post them!)
4.  The Fashion World of Jean Paul Gaultier at the DMA (if you live in the DFW area, you must go!)

But I can't.  Why?  Because I received a fun package in the mail on Friday and want to talk about it instead.  Most of you know one of my favorite things to do is decorate our home.  I don't mean holiday decorating (ew), but a complete room overhaul.  The past two rooms (living room, bedroom) were each done in a week.  The paint, the purchases, everything.  Not only did it make our budget fall to its knees, but I didn't have a chance to mull things over.  I purchased everything at once and regretted certain items later.  We decided to treat our upstairs room differently and took things slooooowly.  The first purchase was made two years ago (Penguin classics) and bit by bit we've added to the room.  It's given me a chance to sit back and think, "Do I truly love this or do I just need a side table and this one is on sale?"

I wanted the room to be three things: contemporary, clean, and FUN.  Jonathan Adler was my inspiration (the man LOVES color) and we're really pleased with how it's turning out.  We still need curtains and a side table so I'll save the full reveal for later, but I couldn't wait to share the pillows we received the other day via Etsy.  We've had the chartreuse pillows forever but decided they worked nicely in the room.  Main colors are navy, orange (looks red in pictures), and chartreuse but the room has a bit of everything.

I'm a huge fan of the F. Schumacher Chiang Mai print and was terrified Michael would hate it.  Luckily, he took one look at the picture online and said, "Is that a dragon?  Cool."

Heck yeah, it's a dragon.  Who knew a pillow could have street cred?

I thought it was fitting to share the pillows since I did the same sneak peek for our living room.  So without further adieu, a tiny piece of our new den:

And in case you're curious, yes, the walls are navy blue.  The guy at Ace Hardware tried talking me out of it three times but I wouldn't have it.  And for once in my life, I'd like to think my stubborn streak paid off.

Easier Than I Thought

Absolutely filled with gratitude: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brandigreer

(Thank you for the phone calls, texts, and messages today. Your prayers were absolutely felt and so appreciated.)

1.11.12

I was so thankful to start a new year.  At the same time, the second the clock struck midnight a tiny part of me ached. January has been on my mind since the last week in April.

Tomorrow is our baby's due date and I'm heartbroken.  I thought it might be easier the second time around but oh it's not.  I can't tell you how badly I wish this story had a happy ending. 

In my last post I talked about finding something each day that fills me to the brim with gratitude and I'm going to try so hard to do the same tomorrow.  I'll be very honest, a larger part of me wants to sleep the day away and not wake up until it's over.

If you have a chance, please say a prayer for us.  Michael puts up a good front but I know he's hurting too.  There have been two instances when I woke up feeling especially encouraged and only later learned someone specifically prayed for peace for me the night before.  I've been praying for peace all week.

Even though we will not meet him* tomorrow, we are so grateful for this sweet baby's life and can't wait to meet him in heaven.

*or her--but I always knew it was a boy

2012

Holy moly.

While most of you have compiled and shared a detailed list of resolutions, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that it's 2012.  Last year absolutely flew.  When I stop to think about particular moments, some hit me so hard it might as well have happened yesterday.  Others I try to remember and am met with a cloudy haze.  Fortunately, the great moments are the ones I remember so well.  

2011, overall, was a pretty fantastic year.  If I made a list I'd say the "pros" column trumps the "cons" column 10 times over.  Over the past few months, I've made a conscious effort each day to find something that fills me to the brim with gratitude.  And you know what?  It's been quite easy.  I want to continue this in 2012 and hope it will become a part of who I am. I chose our Christmas card for a reason--I loved the simple phrase, "Be joyful."  Such a great mantra, and quite easy when you step back and take a look at your life, ya know?

I have so many pictures I want to share with you!  I have absolutely fallen in love with photography and wish I could do it every day.  Unfortunately, I need about fifteen years of practice and by that time I'm quite certain every person on the planet will have their own photography business.  It's been so much fun to capture fun moments of some of my favorite people.  I hope this passion of mine sticks around for a long time because I enjoy it so much!  Will do a picture post soon.

I've decided to make 2012 one of my favorite years of all time.  I know there are many things I can't control but there are so many more things I can.  And I will.  So if your plan is to stand in my way, I'll see you in 2013.  :)