Ho boy.
So it's been awhile. And in that while, a few things have happened.
1. I fell in love with coffee.
2. I turned into "Work is my Life" Meredith.
Let's begin with the first statement. It's true. After 28 years of refusing this disgraceful substance, I came to work one morning and realized I needed some caffeine. I poured myself a cup and thought, "Well, this isn't so bad." Day 2: Walked in, sat down, thought about how nice it'd be to have something hot on the coldish day... BAM! Coffee. Day 3: Walked in and headed straight for the coffee pot, not even stopping by my desk to take off my coat. 28 years denying its existence, less than a week to get absolutely addicted.
I wouldn't consider myself proud of the first statement, but I am downright disgusted at the second. Mid-November and all of December is busy season for me and it just so happens I'm supposed to run the show. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being the leader (ask anyone who has known me for 4 minutes), but I DESPISE it if I don't know exactly what I'm doing. I think about work constantly--what needs to be done, what needs to change, what needs to stay exactly the same, etc. Michael will be telling me a story and ever so slowly my eyes start focusing on the right side of his forehead. At that point he has lost me to class codes, loss runs, and audits, none of which are as exciting as whatever he's telling me.
Tonight I came home from work and realized I hadn't taken a deep breath in approx 8 hours. I stood in our bathroom and told Michael I just needed to take a few big, relaxing breaths. I got my arms in the "big, relaxing breaths" position and as I breathed in and breathed out I realized my arms were going the wrong way. Damn. Michael showed me which way my arms were supposed to go (inhale up aaaaaaand exhale down) and it did actually make me feel better.
Until I realized I'm supposed to lead a team and I don't even know how to breathe properly. Yowza.
So I guess this is my "please forgive me" post in case I disappear for the next 6 weeks. I'm actually working on a weekend recap that covers approx 8 weekends (I wish I was kidding) and will hopefully have it up soon.
Until then.... Inhale aaaaaaand exhale.
5 comments:
Ugh, sorry to hear that work has taken over your life! I like to be in charge too, but yeah, if I'm not 100% confident I actually know what I should be doing, it's a disaster. But knowing you (er, sort of :)), I'm sure you'll do an amazing job! Hoping that these next weeks fly by for you!
I'm sending you a virtual hug, and I'm not a hugging type of person usually. I know exactly how you're feeling right now, and I promise you'll do great and in just a few more weeks, you'll be patting yourself on the back and eating a pan of brownies to celebrate. Well, maybe not that last part...that's just me :) Anyways, it's annoying to hear, but hang in there, and try not to let the stress interfere with enjoying the holidays!
Boo on the work stuff... I kinda understand. It's been crazy busy on my end, but I'm not leading anyone but myself...haha.. :) I hope things slow down enough for you to get some quality "meredith time" as the holidays approach! :) And coffee.... yeah.... I quit soda and now that it's cold, I find myself wanting whatever treat starbucks downstairs has. So I'm downing caffeine AND like a zillion calories. Ugh... When my roomie lights up her cigarette (ew), I think "Okay, I could be addicted to worse than caffeine..." *nervous/grossed out face*
Keep on keepin on, girlie! And have a fabulous Thanksgiving! :)
Hooray for coffee (and your future Keuring!) And booo on work! Btw, Cuisinart has a copy-cat Keuring and it's pretty enticing ;)
And by Keuring I meant Keurig. Apparently I'm wearing mittens as I type :)
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