So it's been awhile. And in that while, a few things have happened.
1. I fell in love with coffee.
2. I turned into "Work is my Life" Meredith.
Let's begin with the first statement. It's true. After 28 years of refusing this disgraceful substance, I came to work one morning and realized I needed some caffeine. I poured myself a cup and thought, "Well, this isn't so bad." Day 2: Walked in, sat down, thought about how nice it'd be to have something hot on the coldish day... BAM! Coffee. Day 3: Walked in and headed straight for the coffee pot, not even stopping by my desk to take off my coat. 28 years denying its existence, less than a week to get absolutely addicted.
I wouldn't consider myself proud of the first statement, but I am downright disgusted at the second. Mid-November and all of December is busy season for me and it just so happens I'm supposed to run the show. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being the leader (ask anyone who has known me for 4 minutes), but I DESPISE it if I don't know exactly what I'm doing. I think about work constantly--what needs to be done, what needs to change, what needs to stay exactly the same, etc. Michael will be telling me a story and ever so slowly my eyes start focusing on the right side of his forehead. At that point he has lost me to class codes, loss runs, and audits, none of which are as exciting as whatever he's telling me.
Tonight I came home from work and realized I hadn't taken a deep breath in approx 8 hours. I stood in our bathroom and told Michael I just needed to take a few big, relaxing breaths. I got my arms in the "big, relaxing breaths" position and as I breathed in and breathed out I realized my arms were going the wrong way. Damn. Michael showed me which way my arms were supposed to go (inhale up aaaaaaand exhale down) and it did actually make me feel better.
Until I realized I'm supposed to lead a team and I don't even know how to breathe properly. Yowza.
So I guess this is my "please forgive me" post in case I disappear for the next 6 weeks. I'm actually working on a weekend recap that covers approx 8 weekends (I wish I was kidding) and will hopefully have it up soon.
Until then.... Inhale aaaaaaand exhale.