Last week I nursed Jude & Sloane for the final time.
I didn't cry, mostly because I didn't know it was going to be the last time. I'd been weaning for a few months so I asked Michael to take a few pictures that night. In their (almost) 15 months, I had no record of something that absolutely changed us all.
On the surface, my story isn't unique. I went through the same struggles as most new moms. I wanted to quit. I didn't. Sloane struggled and I'm sure she wanted to quit. She didn't. I nursed them at the same time until they turned three months and were too big for my nursing pillow. I felt like the majority of my day was spent breastfeeding and in the beginning that was probably pretty accurate. But I'll never forget getting rid of the pillow and nursing them one at a time. I finally understood what people meant when they said it was such a bonding experience. I remember holding each baby and not wanting to let them go.
When you watch your children grow--watch them flourish--and it's because your body was able to provide them that nourishment... it's incredible. I thanked God every day for letting me be a part of it all.
To those of you who are pregnant and wanting to breastfeed, it is one of the best decisions I've ever made. When I was pregnant, most women assumed I wouldn't even try. They casually brought up supplementing with formula, difficult nights with two hungry babies, and vitamins I could take to help my supply. It was hard not to get discouraged before I even began. But I was determined. Every time someone told me I couldn't, I told myself I would.
I can't tell you about supplementing or vitamins because neither were necessary. Instead, I'm going to tell you about the sweet, beautiful moments I had with my babies that no one else will ever experience. About the times they fell asleep while nursing and I just held their warm bodies close to mine. About counting Jude's rolls and knowing I was partially responsible. About watching my husband take a few pictures and then smile at me as I nursed my babies for the last time.
There have been so many firsts and lasts in their short 15 months. This was, without a doubt, the hardest last I've encountered thus far.
It was also the sweetest.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
All About Jude & Sloane | 14 Months
Jude Sullivan...
...Loves to shut doors. Get in the nursery quick or he will close the door in your face.
...Throws absolutely everything down the stairs. I fear the day he can lift Sloane.
...Could also go by the name "Conan the Destroyer." He is strong and doesn't let anything get in his way. He's unintentionally hurt Sloane many time and lots of tears have been shed. :(
...Has 11 teeth and is working on two more.
...Bangs on the blinds each morning until someone raises them. He's either a big fan of the outdoors or windows, we're still not sure.
...Nurses once a day (right before bed), and drinks water and milk with a straw. His recent favorites are blueberries, bananas, yogurt and (most especially) hummus. He does not like cottage cheese, lunch meat, or American cheese.
...Will bring you the nearest book and sit in your lap if you say, "Let's read a book."
...Has developed a strong hatred for the stroller. All he has to do is see it and he starts to whine.
...Is slimming down considerably. Don't get me wrong--he is still a big boy--but nothing like before.
...Still walks with his arms out for balance, especially when he's wearing shoes. It's as cute as it sounds.
...Is a little reserved with strangers and children. He prefers to watch from a safe distance. However, if he knows you he can't get enough of you.
...Sleeps/naps like a champ. Loud snores, mouth ajar, the whole bit.
...Knows sign language for "all done" and understands (but doesn't listen to) the word "no." Also understands "nose" and "cat."
...Is happy most of the time. And stubborn a lot of the time. And wonderful all of the time.
Sloane Elisabeth...
...Has 12 teeth (gained four molars in the last month). For the first time in her life she has more teeth than Jude.
...Is slowly, slowly getting more hair on top of her head. The roots are pretty light!
...Knows sign language for "more," "all done," and "eat." When the babies were six months old I tried teaching them and they ignored me completely. I decided I was done with sign language. Recently I signed each and she picked up all three immediately. She doesn't use them for personal gain but makes the correct sign each time I say the words.
...Hasn't been the best sleeper lately. She wakes up several times each night and cries out.
...Nurses once a day (right before bed), drinks milk and water with a straw, and has quite the appetite. Her recent favorites are blueberries, strawberries, lunch meat, and any type of bread. She does NOT like plain yogurt, cottage cheese, or regular oatmeal.
...Obtained her very first black eye, just in time for Christmas.
...Loves to share with her brother. Whether it be food, toys, or a pacifier, she makes sure he has all of them, even if it means she does without.
...Recognizes her nose, feet, no, and cat. She occasionally understands (by pointing to) eyes, mouth, and teeth.
...Is still very friendly with strangers and other children. Her preference is old, somewhat creepy men. We are working on this.
...Will bring you the nearest book and sit in your lap if you say, "Let's read a book." She will also find and hug her doll if you say, "Will you give Baby Stella a hug?"
...Is quite the deconstructor. If you put megablocks together, she will happily break them apart.
...Might be the sweetest yet sneakiest girl I know. While she's giving you a hug with one arm she's using the other to stealthily grab your phone out of your pocket.
Love, love, love you both! - Mom
...Loves to shut doors. Get in the nursery quick or he will close the door in your face.
...Throws absolutely everything down the stairs. I fear the day he can lift Sloane.
...Could also go by the name "Conan the Destroyer." He is strong and doesn't let anything get in his way. He's unintentionally hurt Sloane many time and lots of tears have been shed. :(
...Has 11 teeth and is working on two more.
...Bangs on the blinds each morning until someone raises them. He's either a big fan of the outdoors or windows, we're still not sure.
...Nurses once a day (right before bed), and drinks water and milk with a straw. His recent favorites are blueberries, bananas, yogurt and (most especially) hummus. He does not like cottage cheese, lunch meat, or American cheese.
...Will bring you the nearest book and sit in your lap if you say, "Let's read a book."
...Has developed a strong hatred for the stroller. All he has to do is see it and he starts to whine.
...Is slimming down considerably. Don't get me wrong--he is still a big boy--but nothing like before.
...Still walks with his arms out for balance, especially when he's wearing shoes. It's as cute as it sounds.
...Is a little reserved with strangers and children. He prefers to watch from a safe distance. However, if he knows you he can't get enough of you.
...Sleeps/naps like a champ. Loud snores, mouth ajar, the whole bit.
...Knows sign language for "all done" and understands (but doesn't listen to) the word "no." Also understands "nose" and "cat."
...Is happy most of the time. And stubborn a lot of the time. And wonderful all of the time.
Sloane Elisabeth...
...Has 12 teeth (gained four molars in the last month). For the first time in her life she has more teeth than Jude.
...Is slowly, slowly getting more hair on top of her head. The roots are pretty light!
...Knows sign language for "more," "all done," and "eat." When the babies were six months old I tried teaching them and they ignored me completely. I decided I was done with sign language. Recently I signed each and she picked up all three immediately. She doesn't use them for personal gain but makes the correct sign each time I say the words.
...Hasn't been the best sleeper lately. She wakes up several times each night and cries out.
...Nurses once a day (right before bed), drinks milk and water with a straw, and has quite the appetite. Her recent favorites are blueberries, strawberries, lunch meat, and any type of bread. She does NOT like plain yogurt, cottage cheese, or regular oatmeal.
...Obtained her very first black eye, just in time for Christmas.
...Loves to share with her brother. Whether it be food, toys, or a pacifier, she makes sure he has all of them, even if it means she does without.
...Recognizes her nose, feet, no, and cat. She occasionally understands (by pointing to) eyes, mouth, and teeth.
...Is still very friendly with strangers and other children. Her preference is old, somewhat creepy men. We are working on this.
...Will bring you the nearest book and sit in your lap if you say, "Let's read a book." She will also find and hug her doll if you say, "Will you give Baby Stella a hug?"
...Is quite the deconstructor. If you put megablocks together, she will happily break them apart.
...Might be the sweetest yet sneakiest girl I know. While she's giving you a hug with one arm she's using the other to stealthily grab your phone out of your pocket.
Love, love, love you both! - Mom
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