Lately I've been reminded that God's timing is perfect. For the past few days I've said to myself, "I don't think I can do this another day." Each morning I pack away another maternity shirt because it no longer fits. And today the sonogram was almost pointless. The babies have gotten so big and crowded that it was hard to distinguish anything--I'd recognize an arm but couldn't tell who it belonged to. Jude and Sloane's heads are so close to one another that seeing either profile was impossible. I'd expected the appointment to be emotional but the sonographer and I laughed the entire time because everything on the screen was so confusing.
In every possible way it is time for our babies to leave me and meet the world. To try to convince myself otherwise is just silly.
When the sonographer was done she smiled and said we had two wonderful babies. I thanked her for everything and she apologized for not giving me any pictures. I let her know we'd be seeing the real thing in six days and already had enough pictures to wallpaper our bedroom.
The appointment with the OB went well. My regular OB is on vacation this week so I met with another doctor. He walked in grinning and said, "There is nothing I love more than a huge, miserable pregnant woman with twins." I raised my eyebrows and he continued, "There are so few women who make it this far. When one does, we are ecstatic." Very cool. He checked me and let me know there was absolutely no progress whatsoever and that I'd be seeing my doctor next Tuesday morning for my scheduled c-section. And then he smiled again and left.
I sat there for a bit before I realized there was nothing left for me to do. No doctor to see, no cup to fill, no scale to dread... so I put on my clothes and left. It was quite anticlimactic, though I'm not sure what I was expecting.
So here I am at 37 weeks, simply waiting for Tuesday morning when our lives will change forever.
I wanted to end this post by thanking each of you for your amazing support throughout this journey. Michael and I are in absolute awe of the love and prayers that have covered us from the very beginning. I've never experienced such peace with something that is absolutely out of my hands in every possible way. That's not to say I haven't had (and continue to have) dreadful bouts of anxiety, but even in those dark moments I've felt safe and secure. Thank you.
I'm so grateful the end of one incredible journey simply means the beginning of another.